My ex and I were together for 7 months

My ex and I were together for 7 months, and during that time, he broke up with me twice. He never acknowledged my feelings or took responsibility for his actions. He would withhold affection and intimacy to punish me, constantly criticize me, and made me feel like I was always doing something wrong. I wasn’t allowed to make noise or even touch him. Once, I gently touched his arm during dinner to tell him how much I appreciated the food, and he flinched as if he was going to hit me.
He was possessive and jealous, insisting I wear a necklace he bought after just a month together to show that I was "taken." The same went for his hoodies. He expected me to be rude to any guy who so much as said hello. He would gaslight me, denying things he said or did. There were moments when he encouraged and uplifted me, but they were rare.
One night, while we were playing around, he raised his hand like he was going to slap me, and I stared him down, daring him to do it. I was constantly walking on eggshells, always overthinking how to say the "right" thing to avoid setting him off. He never did anything for me without expecting something in return. He even made me buy dishwasher pods and laundry detergent since I was using his, despite him wanting me to stay over every weekend.
He never took me out on dates or gave me flowers. The sweet, thoughtful things like cuddling and affection just vanished. He often talked about moving to Montana together, but the next day, he broke up with me after I hung up on him during a call. I hung up because I kept telling him how much his emotional neglect was hurting me, but he didn’t care or take any responsibility for it.
I keep wondering if I was the problem, and I feel stuck in a trauma bond. I’ve gone no contact and started working on myself through therapy and self-help books, but I still can’t understand why I would want someone back who treated me so badly?

Last updated on:2024-10-24T13:24:35+05:30