We were together for four years. I recently found out he cheated on me. I even took a trip to Australia to clear my head, hoping we could work things out. But when I got back and checked his phone, he’d been texting the same girl while I was away. I feel completely heartbroken and have no idea what to do. Now he’s packed a bag to stay at his parents’ place. This isn’t what I pictured at all, especially after just moving in together. I’m devastated.
Last updated on:2024-10-29T15:43:02+05:30
Comments (18)
I went through a similar experience when she left me. Just a week later, she started seeing a guy from work. She said we needed to break up to focus on ourselves, which shattered me. I tried to remain friends because she was the most important person in my life. One day, I came home, and we talked for a long time. I planned to go hang out with friends after a while, but I felt bad since she was sick, so I decided to stay and check on her. When I got home, I found her with the guy in my bed. The only thing that kept me from losing it was my lingering love for her, but I made it clear to him that if I ever saw him again, I wouldn’t hold back.
After that, I completely broke down. It was the first time in my life that I lost control of my emotions. I got so worked up that I passed out in my car after arriving at a friend's place, and he had to come get me. A little later, I ended up sleeping with someone I didn’t even like. I felt terrible, but I think I did it because I was so lonely and just wanted someone who found me attractive, as my confidence had taken a serious hit.
A few weeks passed, and I decided I didn’t want to talk to her or see her anymore, even though I had forgiven her. Being around her felt like a constant reminder that someone better was out there, which crushed me. I picked up my things over three trips, and a couple of days ago, I dropped off my keys. We ended up talking, but she mentioned she thought I was trying to win her back, which threw me off. It made me feel like all my healing was unraveling. I told her I had slept with someone, and she got upset, saying she would never do that to me. That stung because she moved on so quickly.
We ended things on good terms, but now she’s planted the idea that we could get back together. I messaged her about the possibility, and we met up to talk. It turns out she went to the guy’s house right after and made out with him, even staying the night. When I asked why, she said it was to be spiteful. That hurt, but I understood given that I had also slept with someone else. Now she claims that’s why we can’t get back together.
Then she texted me, asking if I truly wanted to reunite, and I said yes because I love her deeply and only see a future with her. But now she says she needs time to think, which has left me feeling hurt and confused. If she says no, I’m terrified of reliving the horror of losing her all over again. I know it’s better for us to work on our trust together rather than risk another heartbreak. I can’t bear the thought of losing her completely after sharing so much over the past five years; she is my happiness. Honestly, I feel like I won’t be able to go on if she decides against us. I’m just so hurt and stuck right now.
Oh my goodness, I’m at a loss for words. I’m truly sorry you’re experiencing this. You deserve so much better—this isn’t fair! I really hate that you’re going through this!
I wouldn’t exactly call that a wise decision on his part..
Yeah it was not
He deserves a good smack!
Oh I know. Just don’t wanna go to jail.
@Kinsley I can’t wrap my head around why some men think this behavior is acceptable.
@Posionous01 I can relate; I’ve never felt such pain before.
You deserve someone who will treat you the way you truly should be treated. The hardest lessons to learn often lead to the greatest healing.
Remember the times before him when you were happy. Now imagine how joyful you’ll be in a few months and how proud you’ll feel for having faced the pain and moved on.
This reminder helped me get through those tough days. You are strong and deserve a life free from stress!
He’s not the one for you. I know it’s hard to see now, but the right person is still on their way. Let this man go; he’s simply a lesson along the journey. Stay strong—time heals all wounds.
That’s such a hard pill to swallow
@Kinsley I just don’t understand why people do things like this. Why put on a show if they’re only going to mess it up? I’m really sorry—he should’ve been mature enough to end things properly rather than lead you on. He doesn’t deserve your time. I hope you find peace, move on from him, and discover true happiness.
@Lucustim I can’t understand why he’d treat me this way! But I’m grateful to have other things in life that genuinely bring me joy as I work through this nightmare.
It’s incredibly hard. I went through something similar not too long ago, and I’ll always remember the advice a wise woman at work gave me when I was dealing with it. She said something like:
This stage of a relationship should be the easy, joyful part, where the focus is on love and building a life together. If your partner can’t be fully present and committed now, it only gets tougher as life becomes more complex (with age, children, health challenges, etc.).
I know this situation really hurts, but please remember you deserve so much better. I hope you come to see that and choose yourself first. There’s nothing more valuable than your peace of mind. Take it one day at a time—healing does come, slowly but surely.
Thank you so much; that’s really great advice. I’ll take it one day at a time. I feel so conflicted and hurt.
I’m truly sorry. Thank you for opening up. With time, everything does heal.
Thank you. This is so rough.