I might be alone in this, but has anyone here ever felt deeply hurt after being used for sex, especially by someone you thought had real feelings for you? Let me explain my situation. I’m a 28-year-old female, and I had a close friendship with a guy (23) for three years. He’s religious, but he engages in some questionable behavior. We ended up sleeping together after I confessed that I had a crush on him. We had gone on a few dates, and he would invite me over to listen to the music he was working on, which, to be honest, was pretty good. He mentioned that he had never been in a real relationship before and was thinking about trying one out, although he never specified with whom.
He did some odd things, like allowing me to stay at his apartment, where we cuddled, kissed, and had sex. We also enjoyed watching movies and playing video games together. Then, one afternoon, he suddenly said, “I don’t want you to fall in love with me.” Hearing that really stung, and I’m not sure why he said it—maybe he got scared and realized he didn’t want to take things further. After that, I left in tears. Things became distant and awkward between us, and eventually, he found a girlfriend he seems compatible with.
I learned from mutual friends that he was talking to about five girls at the time, including me, and I guess she was his top choice. This all ended so abruptly, and I’m struggling to heal from it. My other friends remind me that I deserve better, and I believe that, but the way it ended just feels so strange. Has anyone else been through something similar? If so, what helped you heal and move on?
Last updated on:2024-10-30T17:35:40+05:30
Comments (5)
Spend time with people who love and support you. Their positive energy can uplift you.
It might be helpful to limit contact with him, at least for now. Distance can help you heal."
Focus on self-care activities like yoga, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. Prioritize your well-being.
Yes... and I’m a guy. I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it. The ladies could have been more upfront about it… but then again, I wasn’t either when I was younger. It’s a bit strange.
I've been in a similar situation multiple times, and now I have a rule: we discuss what sex means to each of us fairly early in the casual dating phase. With my last partner, we even agreed to wait until we were officially together to be intimate. The best way to avoid confusion is to ask in advance about what they're looking for and how they view sex. Are they comfortable with casual hookups, or is sex something deeply personal for them?