How does it actually feel, nearly 10 months after the breakup?
You’ve been with someone else, just because… but when he crosses your mind, your heart still races, tightens your chest, and brings those familiar, stinging tears to your eyes. The “what if” lingers, refusing to fade away. That’s how it really feels for me.
Last updated on:2024-11-13T16:58:15+05:30
Comments (23)
I understand exactly how you feel, or at least, I can relate to the side of the story I’m hoping to hear from the woman I love with all my heart and soul. She left me at the start of this year, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world, and all I want is for her to be the happiest woman too. I know she’s with her boyfriend now, and I genuinely wish her all the best. I fell deeply in love with every part of her, only to be let go because of something I wanted to be there for her with—and I was simply told to move on. It’s devastating to think that I’m the only one to blame for losing the most beautiful woman in my life, and I’ll never fully understand why. Now, I have to learn how to live with the fact that the woman I’m in love with isn’t coming back to me. I don’t know how to get back the love I gave her, because I gave her everything I had, even to the point of neglecting myself. I still remember every moment, every tiny detail of our time together. I know exactly when I realized I was in love with her, and meeting her for the first time remains the best day of my life. I fell in love with the most beautiful woman in the world, and she will always hold that title in my heart. She made me feel a kind of love I didn’t even know was possible—a selfless love that puts her first. I would have waited an eternity for her to be ready, just to see her smile and blush again if I could. I can’t stop singing country songs, because I fell in love with singing them to her, and I haven’t sung since high school. If you’re in a similar situation, even while seeing someone else, they might be as stuck on missing you as I am, missing the most beautiful woman in the world.
I wish he could feel even a fraction of what I feel for him. We were something beautiful together, and I still don’t understand why it ended. Somehow, I stopped being the light in his eyes. This was the first time I truly loved—completely selflessly. I never asked for anything, not even love or friendship. Just the occasional chance to talk if we happened to cross paths. I would have done anything for him, even moved mountains or gone to Mars, just to see him smile.
Since the breakup, it’s been ten months, and I even tried dating someone new. But it’s only been three days, and I feel so empty. Despite how many times he’s told me he doesn’t want me in his life at all, I can’t let go. His last words to me were, ‘Don’t talk to me if we’re alone. Only talk to me if we’re in a group.’ That cut the deepest. I can’t even express how broken that made me feel. This is where I am now
@AlbaDuo I know how deeply it hurts to feel this way. She was everything I thought I’d ever search for, in this life and the next. But she didn’t want me beside her here. I’ve written countless letters and poems she’ll never see, torn myself apart with questions I’ll never get answers to. I’ve cried for her longer and harder than I have for anyone else in my life.
I know I should focus on other things, but I’m wrapped up in love with her. She blocked me after her family discovered we were together, and we got into trouble at work for something we shouldn’t have done on the clock. Later, I found out she was struggling without her medication. Still, I held onto this belief that love—the love of a lifetime—is worth fighting for, and I fought for her with everything I had, determined to be there for her and prove I wouldn’t hurt her like others had.
I even lost my job, unable to hold back tears, missing her, hoping for a single face-to-face goodbye. When I couldn’t reach her, I blew up her work phone until she finally spoke to me. I know it was wrong to push for that conversation and to disrespect her wishes. I never asked the painful questions that lingered, and now they haunt me, along with the guilt of not living up to my own promises. If only I had waited, if only I’d been more understanding… I can’t let go of the regret that I could have done better by her.
But I can’t change the past, and all I ever wanted was her happiness. I’ll always be in love with the most beautiful woman I’ve known, and if that means waiting a lifetime just to see her smile, I’ll accept that. She didn’t see me the way I saw her, and I’m ashamed that I pushed so hard to talk that I came off as someone she wouldn’t respect. I saw the flowers I’d wanted to give her—the same ones I’d once promised to bring with each bouquet. But I couldn’t face her after finding out she’d announced her new relationship. She was proud of him, not hiding him like she had to hide me.
All I can do is hope that whoever she chooses will see her worth, cherish her, and make her happy. We don’t always get the ending we want. The only thing we can do for the ones who don’t love us back is to want the best for them, to hope they find the happiness they deserve, even if it’s without us. I want her to have every joy, every dream she’s ever had, and more. Knowing I can’t be part of her life is a special kind of agony. But if I’m not what she truly wants, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of her happiness.
@RVVoiceless I didn’t realize I typed so much so quickly—apologies for the long response! As you can see, I still have so much to share when it comes to loving her. I truly hope this love continues to burn passionately for her until the end of my days.
I guess it really depends on the person and the connection you had with your ex. For me, it's been exactly a year, and I still long to hear from her, to have that conversation. I’ve tried moving on, but it's been hard because I’d give anything to get that one call. I just can’t picture a future where she doesn’t come back, at least not a happy one. It feels like a part of me has been missing all these years, left behind in the past, and reintegrating it feels impossible.
I’m sorry, that probably doesn’t help, but I know there are people who eventually heal, becoming stronger and more complete from the experience. They bring that growth into their next relationship and make it even better. I have no idea what that’s like or how to get there, but I hope you’re able to figure it out more quickly than I have (or haven’t, in my case)
I don't believe I ever will, because no matter if I'm surrounded by family, friends, or people who truly care about me, my mind always drifts back to my ex. He occupies my thoughts constantly, and it's hard for me to accept that I seemed to mean so little to him.
@AlbaDuo I understand. It’s really tough. Not a day has passed in the last year that I haven’t thought about her—wondering what I could’ve done differently, what I could’ve said, or how much I wished to see her again. It really sucks
2 years have passed... but for me, the first 10 months felt like Day 1. The first year was like living in a never-ending cycle, where every day was just waking up to repeat the same nightmare. When I was awake, I couldn’t stop thinking about her; when I slept, she invaded my dreams. My situation was unique, which made healing difficult. things started improving. I’ve managed better than before. Now, I’m hoping next year brings complete healing.
After nine months, I finally allowed myself to enjoy someone else’s company, and now we’re happily together! Being with this new person has made me realize just how unfulfilling my previous relationship was. It's only been a month, but I’ve never been this happy 🥰 I truly hope you find your special someone too ❤️
It's been almost nine months for me, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m taking a year of celibacy. I can’t even bring myself to flirt with anyone. I doubt he’ll ever talk to me again, but part of me hopes he somehow knows, on a deeper level, that I care for him deeply. If it’s meant to happen, it will, though I feel guilty for thinking this way because he’s going through some tough personal struggles.
I know it’s not coming back, but I still haven’t fully moved on. I’m going to be gentle with myself, as my therapist advised—I'm on my own path. Take care ♥️
Yes, in my own world, he remains love and light to me. He is pure magic in my life.
My person was with someone else for no real reason? It took me more than two years to finally date someone, and that only lasted about a week. I couldn’t handle him and was still in love with my ex. On top of that, my person had told me they didn’t want me and said some really hurtful things.
Same here. It’s been 5 months since the breakup, and I’m terrified I’m going to love him forever. I don’t think I can keep living with this emptiness inside me, struggling to breathe sometimes when the memories hit me out of nowhere. I’ve tried everything—drowning myself in work, school, cleaning, hitting the gym—until I’m completely drained and even fall asleep with my clothes on. But then the bittersweet dreams of him come, and no matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about him, even when I’m asleep. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
I can't stop thinking about him. There are moments when I cry so intensely that I can’t keep anything down and end up throwing up—wondering what went wrong. I don’t even understand what I did or didn’t do. How could something as beautiful as our friendship and relationship just end so suddenly? Especially right after my major surgery. Despite all the pain, I’m still thankful he chose me, even if it was just for a while. I love him deeply, and I always will. He’ll forever be the love of my life.
I’ve been working through this for 8 months now, and while I've made significant progress, he's still managed to break contact multiple times. It’s been 3 months since we last spoke, and just recently, he blocked me out of the blue—clearly trying to provoke a reaction. The good news is, I’m becoming less and less affected by his antics, at least outwardly.
That said, the past two weeks have been tough. I keep being reminded of him, and it’s hard to shake off the constant sadness. It’s not nearly as painful as the first few months, but it still sucks to find myself back in this emotional space. Healing really isn’t a straight line.
For me, it’s a mix of ‘what ifs,’ but I can’t help but mourn the past. I used to feel so happy and full of energy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m living and enjoying life again, but I’m different now. It’s like the breakup took away my old self and brought me back as someone new. I still grieve the person I thought I’d become and the future I once envisioned, but I also remind myself to be grateful for the person I am today."
Sending hugs and strength your way as well.
You can truly feel a breakup in every part of your body. I understand exactly how you feel. I just wish more people would recognize the weight of it, instead of downplaying how serious breakups really are. It’s not something you can easily move past. I feel tightness in my chest and headaches. I hate every moment of it, with everything I am. I’m 7 months out from my breakup, and it’s still painful.
I’m so sorry that you’re still dealing with this after 10 months. But that only shows how much you loved and cared for your boyfriend. You gave him real, genuine love, and your heart is pure. It’s his mistake, not yours. He made the choice to walk away, and he’s the one who’ll regret it. This is on him, not you. Things have to improve, they just have to. I truly hope they do for both of us soon because I can’t stand feeling this way every day.
Yes, you feel it so damn much. Sending hugs your way. Hope you heal.
@AlbaDuo Thank you, I truly appreciate it. I’m in the process of healing right now. My girlfriend and I no longer communicate, and she quickly entered another relationship after we broke up. They're still together, and it’s a tough feeling to cope with.
@Harrison15 He no longer wants to talk to me either. I miss him deeply.
@AlbaDuo That’s really tough. I bet you miss him a lot. I miss my girl too. She truly felt like the one for me, my person, and my forever. I just don’t understand it. I can’t believe it’s been 7 months since we last talked. It feels surreal and heartbreaking.
@Harrison15 Reading your messages really helps me. It makes me feel less alone in this occasional pain I’m experiencing. I’m essentially in the same place as you both—almost a year has passed, she left, jumped into a new relationship, and hasn’t spoken to me since. I try to move on, and it works most days, but she still feels like a shadow that follows me. These waves of bittersweet memories come and go, and though they’re easier to handle as time goes on, they still linger in my heart and mind. Recently, I came across a powerful quote that I’ve been using as motivation during my tough moments. I’ll paraphrase it: 'If you’re going through hell, keep moving
@AlbaDuo We both deserve someone who stays.