A month ago, I broke up with my girlfriend, and we have a 6-month-old daughter together. I ended things because it felt like I was to blame for everything that went wrong, plus there were other issues I don’t want to get into. We’d split up once before and tried to make things work, but in the end, I ended it again because nothing was changing.
I still love her deeply—she was my first love, and she gave me the most precious gift, our daughter. Today, she told me she’s been spending time with a new guy she recently met and that they kissed, though it was just a peck. She’s not sure if he’s “dating material,” but she felt the need to be honest with me because we share a child, even though her family advised against telling me. I really appreciated her honesty.
But hearing that news hit me harder than I thought it would. Just knowing that another guy is even remotely close to her in the way I used to be really shook me. They’ve been carving pumpkins, feeding them to her horses, watching movies together, and tonight, he’s meeting my daughter at her brother’s football game. I tried to be supportive, telling her she’s free to do what she wants since we’re not together anymore, but honestly, it hurts more than I can express.
When I dropped our daughter off today, she was dressed up—wearing her favorite necklace and shirt—and acting a little differently. I asked if she went on a date, and she said no. Later, she called to admit that she’s been hanging out with this guy for the past week. She said she’s not looking for anything serious right now, and doesn’t think he is either, but it just kind of happened. I told her that if things start to get serious between them, she needs to let me know, because I can’t stay friends with her if someone else gets closer to her than I was.
She also said she still wants to hang out as friends, and I agreed, but deep down, I’m not sure if I can handle that. The idea of her being with someone else is breaking my heart.
I told her how I felt, and she said she didn’t think it would hurt me because I made it clear that we’re apart. Now she’s being really nice to me, which makes it harder because I wish she’d been this kind when we were together. She seems so happy when she talks about him, and it’s killing me inside.
I feel guilty because I was the one who ended it. It felt easier than I expected at first, because I thought I’d still get to see her, and we were even friends with benefits for a while after the breakup. But now that she’s seeing someone else, it’s dragged me into a really dark place. I can’t stop crying. I feel like I led her on by saying that we could maybe try again one day. Now, the reality is tearing me apart.
They’ve only hung out twice, but the fact that they’ve already kissed—even if it was just a peck—hurts so much. The thought of them getting closer, him learning all the little things about her, possibly being intimate, is too much to handle.
I’m still going to be there for my daughter, no matter what. She’s my light. But all of this is really painful, especially since I still have to see my ex often because of our daughter.
I’m really struggling to cope with all of this. Does anyone have advice on how to move forward and start feeling better? How do I handle this?
Last updated on:2024-11-13T15:50:56+05:30
Comments (4)
Uh should stay out of her business... surely, you didn’t think she’d become a nun? You no longer have any say in her love life, as long as your daughter is safe and happy
I’m not involved in her business; she shared all of this with me because she wanted to. I didn’t expect her to be perfect, and I knew what was going to happen, but it still doesn’t make it hurt any less. I told her not to let me, or anything she feels about me, influence her decisions, and she assured me that she hasn’t. She just wanted to be honest and an open book with me. The one bright spot right now is knowing that my daughter is safe and happy, which gives me some peace."
@PrestonPori you asked her of she was going on a date and also gave her instructions concerning the progression of her new relationships..because you won't be able to be friends with her...that will hurt your daughter. please see a mental health professional. Tell her to Quit telling you things and it won't hurt someone's much. Do you see?
@Harrison15 I agreed with her after our breakup that if I started seeing someone new, I would let her know so she’s aware and for the sake of our daughter. She only shared this with me because she would’ve felt guilty not doing so, and I assured her I would. I'll always stay in touch with her and see her frequently because of our daughter—that will never change. However, I'm trying to limit any interactions beyond that in order to avoid hurting myself further and focus on healing.