Hey everyone. I’m a 37-year-old guy

Hey everyone. I’m a 37-year-old guy, and it’s been close to four months since my ex (30F) and I separated. I’m really struggling—actually, it feels like it’s getting worse with time. My sleep is a mess, I’ve lost my appetite, I can’t focus, and I feel like I’m losing my grip. The truth is, I miss her terribly. I realize now how much I took for granted when we were together. I’m pretty sure she’s moved on, and that thought is just tearing me up inside…but here we are.
I’m exhausted from relying on meds to get by. I hate that medicated is my version of okay. I honestly feel done with life right now. I’d been managing okay, but last night I drank too much, and while I didn’t reach out to her (thankfully), the whole thing is wearing me down. I honestly don’t know if I’ll get through this if things keep going like this. I’ve had a rough time dealing with breakups in the past too, and I feel like I’m failing myself again.
People say “time heals all wounds,” but how am I supposed to get through all this time in between? I’m battling intrusive thoughts and horrible scenarios I keep playing out in my head. I can’t help but feel like this is all my fault, like I should’ve shown her more of how much she meant to me. Now, I’ll never have that chance.
Reaching out to her would only lead to more heartbreak, and I don’t think I could handle that. She was the one who got away—the one who’d have done anything for me. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s true, and the pain of losing her feels like it’s never going to leave. Therapy and meds aren’t helping much. I’m barely making it to work, and I desperately need to find some kind of balance to get through this, even if it’s temporary.
CG/CV, if you ever read this, I still love you, and I hope one day our paths cross again. Sometimes it takes losing someone to understand they truly belonged in your life. But I don’t know how to keep going right now.

Last updated on:2024-11-14T15:32:12+05:30