My boyfriend recently told me how much he loves me and sees a future with me. He even talked about having kids together and said I’d make an amazing mother. But then, out of nowhere, he said he’s overwhelmed with everything going on in his life and isn’t sure if he can be with me. It’s been 24 hours since he last spoke to me. Am I just being strung along?
Last updated on:2024-11-19T18:08:06+05:30
Comments (14)
You deserve a partner who is just as committed and clear about their intentions. If he's genuinely interested in a future with you, he should be open to discussing his feelings and any concerns honestly.
You deserve transparency and stability in your relationship. If he’s feeling overwhelmed, it could be beneficial to have an honest conversation about your feelings and what you both desire moving forward.
Yeah I do this. I’m not sure why I just follow my feelings in the moment. Then later on, I feel guilty when I realize how much of a jerk I’ve been. And somehow I find myself doing it again. It’s frustrating. I just had someone end things for good because of this behavior, even though I truly loved her—until she did something that bothered me. I’m older now but it’s the same pattern with the only difference being that I already have kids, and she didn’t want any.
I deserved to be broken up with. I have my flaws. If your boyfriend is my age he really needs to figure out whatever this issue is. Maybe it’s attachment problems or something else—I don’t know where it stems from. I don’t intend to push people away, but I have emotional struggles. After this last relationship, I’ve come to realize that this issue is also likely the reason my ex-wife cheated on me. I didn’t even become fully aware of it until just a month ago.
I feel overwhelmed by both good and bad emotions to the point where I can’t tell what’s real anymore.
I hope I’ve been able to help in some way by sharing this. Honestly it feels like I helped myself too, as this is the first time I’ve written about it.
Thanks for opening up to me!
I'm doing my best not to walk away because I truly love him, but I'm struggling with the uncertainty in our relationship. I never know where I stand from one day to the next.
I hope you're doing okay
He’s definitely laying it on thick with the love.
He’s definitely laying it on thick with the love.
My heart is sore
I can completely relate to this. My partner of two and a half years who I lived with for two of those years, broke up with me just a week and a half ago. It’s hard to move on but I’ve realized that having someone who’s indecisive while you’re fully committed is deeply painful.
In my case, the night before the breakup, he told me he loved me and wanted to cuddle. The next morning, while still cuddling, he ended things with me. For your own peace of mind I urge you to walk away from someone like this. I say this with the best intentions—save yourself from the confusion and hurt.
This will only get worse. My ex used to say that then a week later she’d dump me over something ridiculous. Somehow she’d twist things around so I’d end up apologizing for being hurt. Then we’d get back together and the whole cycle would repeat... over and over. Each time it lasted one to three months. Is that what you want?
No I definitely don't want that
Yes you are... This guy is 1) unreliable and 2) extremely self-centered. This isn’t the way to treat others.
It's the second time he’s done this in a month! The first time, he said I wasn’t communicating properly during an argument and broke up with me. He wanted to try again so I worked on improving communication. He has autism, and I understand that they can get overwhelmed but I only see him once a week. I even told him that if seeing me that often is too much, maybe we shouldn’t be together. I’ve asked if there’s anything he needs from me but he’s been ignoring my messages since last night. My mind is all over the place right now.
@ArabellaTim Honestly, it seems like he might be thinking about ending things, and it would be best for you to prepare yourself to move forward afterward.
Give him some space. This behavior raises red flags—talking about a future and kids, then ignoring you, seems manipulative or at least confusing. Let him prove himself and earn your trust, but in the meantime, consider dating other men who are ready to give you their full commitment!