So me (39M) and my ex (32F) broke up at the start of September. A month after the breakup, I reached out, and she told me she missed me. She cried, and we ended up spending the night together… our last night. No protection, no birth control, no pulling out. And yeah, it happened twice. I can’t even imagine moving on right now because I still really love her.
We weren’t perfect, just putting that out there. But a month after that night—after she told me how much she still loved me, wished we could’ve worked out, and talked about wanting commitment, marriage, and even a kid with me—she’s already with someone else. He’s staying with her at her new place and spending all this time with her.
What does this even mean? Was it not real love? It’s so confusing that she could show me so much love, want all these big things with me, and then move on like this. I’m honestly just lost. Any advice on how I should feel or process this?
Last updated on:2024-11-22T12:51:52+05:30
Comments (5)
Listen bro you’re stuck in some serious selective memory right now. You’re hung up on stuff like not using protection and not pulling out acting like that somehow equals true love. Spoiler alert it doesn’t. That’s just what happens when two people are comfy with each other—it doesn’t guarantee anything about the future.
What’s actually wild is how you’re obsessing over her every move now that she’s with someone else. Knowing this guy’s staying over and spending time with her? That just makes you look possessive, even borderline stalkerish. She’s moved on, dude. Trying to analyze her new relationship while you’re stuck in the past isn’t doing you any favors.
She said what she needed to say and maybe she meant it in the moment. But just because she felt something that night doesn’t mean she owes you her singlehood forever. Breakups suck, and they should if you cared about someone. But for your own sanity, it’s time to let go. Focus on moving forward, not clinging to something that’s already over.
That was kinda harsh ngl... I wasn’t stalking I heard from mutuals. You’re not getting my point. If you really love someone how do you move on that quick? Like unless it was manipulation or some narcissistic crap. And ugh, if she’s letting me go raw and finish twice who knows what she was letting other guys do. How did you not catch that?? Forget it this is impossible to explain—you're coming off like a jerk and a troll. Totally missed my point but okay kinda sus if you ask me. The whole point was about whether it was real love or not if someone moves on so fast. No need for a whole tangent like that. Haha alright dude…
@PiersGolve Here’s the thing: you put your feelings out there for everyone to see so calling people trolls just because they don’t agree with you is kinda lame. Let’s be real you didn’t come here for advice—you’re fishing for sympathy over being stuck on your ex. If you can’t handle honest feedback maybe don’t post every bitter detail online expecting people to cosign your story.
You’re still obsessing over her, watching her every move even her new relationship—and yeah that’s not healthy. She’s moved on and clinging to old memories or bringing up your past isn’t making you the victim—it’s just making you look stuck. You can blame her all you want or call it narcissistic behavior but at the end of the day it’s time to let go and focus on yourself.
Good luck figuring it out.
@Greyson Missed the point again, huh? Good thing no names or pics got out. Y’all really gotta chill with the stupidity. Nobody’s fishing for pity here dude. It was a simple question—was it love or not? Nobody asked for your overthinking nonsense. Bet you’re sitting there with a fanny pack munching on chips, acting superior. Seriously get over yourself.
Yeah it’s a public forum, but maybe try having a little compassion before dropping your heartbreak is hard takes. The way you say things makes you come off like such a jerk. You think you know it all but you’re seriously lacking in basic decency.
@PiersGolve Alright, so you’re mad because you didn’t get the response you were hoping for. You keep saying it’s just a simple question, but honestly your whole post and replies show you’re still stuck on her and overthinking everything. If you didn’t want opinions, maybe posting online wasn’t the best call. Throwing shade because no one’s hyping you up just proves you’re still hung up and not ready to face reality.
You’re asking if it was love or not but here’s the deal—only you can answer that. Digging for proof in everything she does now is just keeping you stuck. You can come at me all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still obsessing over her and running in circles over something that’s done. Compassion doesn’t mean sugarcoating—it’s about being real with yourself owning your choices and starting to move forward.