I’ve known this girl for like 3 months. We talk every day and I’ve hung out with her 6 times (could’ve been more, but she lives an hour away and I’m always the one going to her city). I asked her once if she wanted to be my gf and she was like already? I thought I messed up, but I figured I was just too early with it. I’m always the one planning our hangouts but she does say she enjoys going out with me.
I’ve fallen hard for her but recently I tried to figure out why she’s not ready and it hit me. She said she’s not ready for anything right now. She doesn’t date anyone else though. I’m giving it my all, staying loyal, and I’ve told her how I feel but when I ask if she sees us together in the future she just says “I don’t know… I can’t tell you.
From the start I was upfront that I’m serious about her and we clicked so well. We have so much in common—like we’re both introverted, not into crowded places, love similar games, and enjoy walks outside.
But she’s changed a bit. She’s more distant. Replies are slower no cute emojis or hearts in her goodnight texts anymore. It hurts. I love her but I don’t know how to move forward.
She said she needs time to reconnect with her family because her ex (who was much older) made her distant from them. I’m stuck. Do I keep trying? Do I wait for her to be ready? I can’t see myself with anyone else but her
Last updated on:2024-12-02T14:10:45+05:30
Comments (11)
stop stressing it you’re lowkey pushing her away with all that neediness. Just vibe with the time you have now no need to force something. I can’t say for sure but you’re kinda giving anxious attachment vibes. Get your own life together before jumping into something serious. You’ve barely known this girl for 4 months, and you’re already talking love and I can’t be with anyone else but her. Like, chill. Right now the best move is to be like You know what, I think you're right. I just wanna enjoy what we have whatever that looks like and have fun. For real and you gotta mean it. Match her energy. If she texts all random, do the same. Go hang with your friends, post it up. Show her you got a life outside of her. Take a step back so she can breathe and actually want to be with you.
If she sees you’re a fun person without her she’ll wanna have fun with you. But if you come off clingy she’ll dip.
thanks a lot I’m gonna try to enjoy life even though I know I can be super clingy lol. still hoping for the best tho you’re totally right
Yoo I’m really sorry you're dealing with this. Kinda going through something similar myself. I don’t have much advice since it’s still fresh for me too but I’m glad you could open up about it. Honestly talking to people who get it has been pretty healing. I know it’s cliche but you’re not alone in feeling like this. Stay strong fam 🫂
Hey sorry you're going through this. We both know it’s not a vibe for the heart. Hope you find your way and sort it out! Don’t let your head drop.
She's down for a relationship when YOU bring the numbers and the schedule. Not the fake social media stuff. Not the PDA. Not some meaningless family intro. Just real plans that make sense with a schedule to follow. It’s that simple but do you even want that?
Thanks a lot! I'm trying to give her some space but we set up a meeting for two weeks from now since her parents are going on vacay so I took two days off work. She wants to show me her pets and watch a movie but honestly I kinda feel like she's not as excited about it as she was two months ago when she first invited me. It's hard to figure out what to do right now but I'm focusing on my own vibes instead of stressing over her and staying busy so I don't overthink. I’m not gonna keep chatting with her though.
take her word for it she’s not ready and it’s not you. you might be putting effort into something that won’t even happen. maybe she’s got some trauma. ask her about her last relationship… was she ready back then?? did her trust get messed with? people get like this after a rough relationship.
ugh I don’t wanna say this but stop right there. you're just gonna make things harder for yourself. I've been through this exact same thing before
I'm lowkey scared of that.. I wanna keep going cuz I like her but also if I get too attached and she just dips... it'd be way easier to cut it off now.. sucks we can't see the future tho
@PercyRock She's probably dealing with some stuff. Whatever it is it ain't personal.
But I'd give her space. Let her come to you. Stop texting her for a bit.
big red flag if she’s been all about spending time with you but won’t commit to a label