I’m 32F and I was in love with my ex 32M. Like he was my person fr. Everything I could’ve wanted… until he wasn’t. Two years in he relapsed into his drug addiction. During that time he broke up with me hooked up with multiple women and pretty much drank and used like crazy. Even though he pushed me away so hard I never gave up on him. I eventually got him to agree to rehab he got clean and we got back together.
But then six months later he left me for some girl he met in AA. That was 3 months ago.
While he was in rehab I put in so much work on myself. I even went to a mental health retreat to dodge a full-on breakdown. I’ve been focusing on getting stronger in every way possible but ngl, it still broke my heart. After a month, I actually started feeling better—like genuinely happy and good. Then at the end of August I started talking to this guy who’s like the polar opposite of my ex. There’ve been a few yellow flags but I’ve just been keeping tabs on them.
Fast forward to this week—I find out my ex ditched the girl he left me for and is now with another girl. At first I was like Ha karma but then it hit me and I broke down. Turns out I still love that effing guy. I mean I know I deserve better than all the crap he put me through, but I miss the sober clean guy I fell for—the one I shared all those dreams and future plans with. I miss my best friend.
But like… why? He treated me like trash. I get the whole trauma bond thing, but it’s been months. I should be over it by now. And this new guy? He’s actually great but the nicer he is, the more I want to bail. That’s not fair to him. I can’t even tell my friends about this because they’d be so mad but I had to get it out somehow.
Last updated on:2024-12-06T17:21:41+05:30
Comments (2)
As you move on just know no one’s really your person – that whole soulmate thing is fairy tale vibes. Keep your eyes open. The guy you’re missing? He was never real just a romanticized version in your head. Gotta stay realistic.
I get you fr. Don’t have much advice, but if you peep my history same thing happened to me—got left for a rehab girl. I still love him but I’m tryna focus on loving myself more. It’s okay if you’re not over it yet and dating might not feel right yet either. I’m giving myself till the 6-month mark. It’s okay to still love him; you just gotta grieve, cry it out, and start loving yourself more. Let that self-love grow a little more every day.