I (27F) broke up with my bf (25M) of 2 yrs

I (27F) broke up with my bf (25M) of 2 yrs. We were living together at the time and I spent most of that year grieving the relationship I knew I’d have to end. I had issues with his lack of drive he wasn’t working for a year so I was handling all the bills managing the apartment and working full-time. Meanwhile he’d play video games all day. The dog needed walks the pets needed feeding and his laundry was piled up everywhere (his mom even came over a few times to help him with it which while kind was also kinda off-putting).
I wanted to marry him one day so yeah my expectations were high but he wasn’t meeting them. I ended things before his sister’s weddingbefore my bday. I paid off the lease penalties and everything. He packed his stuff the next day and never looked back. Since then I’ve moved into a new place taken care of our pets and offered him the cat (since he named her and we got her through his cousin). Thankfully he didn’t take her she’s been my emotional support through all this. The dog who I had for 10 yrs stayed with me until he passed in October. Saying goodbye to him almost broke me but my parents were there thank God.
Since the breakup my ex has done some petty stuff. He dropped his apartment key off at my parents’ house on my bday and texted me about it. He’s now friends with a guy who bullied me in high school and he’s tweeted some hurtful things about me. And for what? Because I tried so hard to make it work and then ended it when I couldn’t anymore? I even ended it respectfully asking if he wanted to talk and he didn’t.
After the breakup I had a brief thing with someone who turned out to be awful and I’m still dealing with that fallout. Then,yesterday my friend told me my ex met someone new took her to Hawaii for his sister’s wedding and is in love. It’s been six months since we broke up and while I know he’s allowed to move on the fact that I feel so replaceable when I gave so much to that relationship is wrecking me. He’s not a bad guy; he’s actually great and super loyal but this hurts. I haven’t been snooping or anything I only hear bits and pieces from friends but this news crushed me.
On top of that losing my dog a month ago dealing with that toxic hookup and trying to recover from our breakup has left me so drained. I ended things because I thought it was best for both of us. I knew I’d let him and his family down. I didn’t leave because I wanted to I left because I had to. He loved me so much but he just couldn’t get it together.
I’m sitting here with all this grief wondering if I did the right thing. I don’t want to play the victim but it feels like life has been throwing nothing but punches at me ever since. I’m so tired, so alone. This kind of loneliness both physical and deep internal is something I’ve never felt before. I don’t jump into relationships to fill a void so I’ve been sitting with this emptiness and honestly I’m scared I’m at my breaking point.

Last updated on:2024-12-24T16:56:55+05:30