Me (30M) and my ex (26F) broke up like 1.5 months ago. We were together for 2 years but only officially BF & GF for a little over a year.
After the breakup I moved abroad for 3 months (still got 2 months left but I’m not going back to the same city). When we broke up we talked about it and since she was set on it I didn’t beg or try to change her mind. I just bought my ticket and left.
She told me I was the best partner she’s ever had (low bar tho her exes were trash one was violent one cheated and another treated her like crap). We broke up after a fight about family stuff.
Since I’ve been here I started therapy hit the gym and reconnected with old friends. Been working on myself and giving her the space she wanted after the breakup.
But like 10 days after I got here she FaceTimed me out of nowhere. I didn’t pick up cuz I was still too messed up emotionally.
4 days later I texted her apologizing for not answering and we talked. She said she was feeling nostalgic lonely and everything felt dark and shitty being alone. She told me that the day she called she was crying and feeling out of control.
5 days after that she sent me a pic of a teddy bear we used to have in bed. Pretty emotional stuff. I thought maybe she was having second thoughts but then it seemed like the problem wasn’t just our fight it’s that she felt like she lost attraction for me and doesn’t think it can come back.
3 days later she sent me an Instagram post about something we used to do as a couple. All I could do was like it and move on.
7 days after that she texted again asking how I was and what I was up to. We ended up talking about my therapy and how I was doing. She said she needs to figure herself out more like why she feels the way she does and why she handles things the way she does. She also mentioned wanting to switch therapists to work on deeper stuff.
What even is this?
I’ve tried so hard to let her go and give her the breakup she wanted even though it hurts like hell. But she keeps reaching out not in a let’s just be friends kinda way (I made it clear I’m not down for that).
She’s reached out so many times and I’ve only hit her up once just to be polite. Don’t get me wrong I’m still in love with her. I know she’s got childhood trauma and shitty exes and I can understand that but I’m confused.
Last updated on:2024-12-27T12:15:58+05:30
Comments (3)
It means nothing if there's no real effort to change. Actions speak louder than liking posts or sending memes. If someone’s actually sorry and wants to fix things they’ll step up and do what’s needed to make it right. It’s on them to choose that. Don’t settle for the bare minimum.
Gotcha I appreciate your comment. But objectively it hasn’t been that long tbh (plus she’s avoidant so it might take her more time to process). I think it’s cool she admitted she needs to work on herself and figure out why she feels/acts like that.
Ik ik maybe I’m being too optimistic or whatever but knowing her that’s a big deal.
Thanks again for your input
@SadFella I mean yeah that’s cool and all but like actions speak louder. What does working on herself even mean? what’s she actually gonna do? if it’s just hooking up with other people and dodging the problem that’s not it. And if it’s just liking posts while saying she’s working on it same thing that’s not it either. Admitting there’s a problem is step one but you gotta actually do something. Only actions lead to real change and growth.