my ex of 2 years broke up with me 4 months ago. We were literally each other’s first everything and went through so much together. He was supposed to propose in October and we had plans to get married next year. Even 2 weeks before the breakup we were talking wedding logistics so yeah it hit me out of nowhere.
Our relationship wasn’t perfect but we were crazy in love and best friends. For 2 years he always told me I was his person. Everyone our friends family knew how much he loved me and how he’d do anything for me. When we broke up he cried said he still loved me a lot and that I’d always be his first love. If you check my past posts there’s more context.
I’ve been working on letting go and honestly I’ve come a long way. I see now why we didn’t work his avoidant tendencies and also he’s not the same person I fell in love with anymore. But still 2 years of memories and growing up together? Yeah it’s gonna take time to fully process.
don’t roast me but I haven’t removed him from Instagram either my main or my Finsta. After the breakup he started following a bunch of girls and I think he might’ve ended up with one of them. She’s a flight attendant and they’re doing long distance since she’s in another country. Honestly no clue if it’s a rebound.
Anyway I haven’t used my main Insta in weeks but today I found out he unfollowed my main account. He’s still following my Finsta though. Then I saw his gf’s Finsta (which follows her main) followed me on my main account. My guess? She probably asked him to unfollow my main but maybe he left my Finsta alone.
I’m not gonna react or do anything about it. I’m above that.I thought I’d spiral and maybe text him impulsively but I’m surprisingly calm. I know this isn’t about me t’s all on him.
That said it still stings. It’s like getting a soft confirmation that he’s with someone else now after everything we had. I know social media stuff doesn’t really mean much but I can’t help wondering has he really moved on? Like after 2 years all that love and all those milestones with me and even his family how do you just move on so fast?
Last updated on:2025-01-04T16:19:32+05:30
Comments (3)
I get that not every breakup is the same but after all that time I’m pretty sure your ex ended things cause his feelings were all over the place. He probably already had feelings for someone else. And the more I sit with it the more I think that’s what happened in my situation too just took longer for all the pieces to fall into place.
I mean how does someone just throw away their first love like it’s nothing? That void’s gotta hit eventually right? Unless it doesn’t… cause they’ve already filled it with someone else. Most people don’t walk away from their first love and just chill solo forever. Usually there’s someone new in the picture. It’s easier to let go when you’re falling hard for someone else especially in the honeymoon phase when it’s all fireworks.
Anyway I’m just overthinking it. You seem to be handling it way better than I did like more chill as you said. I’m two years out and it still wrecks me sometimes. Even knowing they called me a regret and are out there living it up, traveling making all these new memories without me… it’s rough. You’re doing great though. I wish I had your strength. Keep going.
Yeah that could be the case and I’ll probably never know and honestly I don’t think I wanna know.
But judging from how he was acting before the breakup and how he handled the breakup convo I feel like maybe he deactivated because the pressure to get married was too much. he just shut down and went into flight mode. It seemed like he felt he couldn’t meet my needs anymore and was just tired of trying. I’ll never know for sure if he monkey branched but my gut says he didn’t. Even during the breakup I could feel how much love he still had for me. It was like he felt forced into it like he had no other option. He’s super avoidant and just bottles everything up so I don’t think he even knew how to deal with his feelings. I’m so sorry you’re going through that. When the love runs deep it’s not something you can just let go of especially when it wasn’t your choice. I’m still super attached to my ex emotionally and I keep replaying all the what ifs and our memories it’s been so hard. But therapy (with the right therapist) has really helped me process everything. It made me realize my ex couldn’t meet my emotional needs and that would’ve been a big issue if we got married. Took me three tries to find the right therapist but it’s been worth it. I hope you’ve had a chance to work through it with a pro too
@Sadpage12 At least your avoidant ex showed some respect and appreciation for you. Can’t say the same for me. Maybe it’s partly my fault for being too critical about their role in the fallout before the breakup and how they treated me during the relationship.
I’ve got social anxiety and the idea of opening up to someone even a therapist feels way too scary. Plus what if I pick the wrong one and have to start over? So yeah guess I’ll just stay messed up forever.
You seem to be doing pretty okay moving forward. Hope it stays that way for you.