I thought I knew what love felt like but then I met him. From the start it was different. There was this instant connection like I’d known him forever. We weren’t strangers and it was so easy. Felt natural y’know? We got to know each other slowly then all at once. We talked about everything our lives fav things dreams, childhoods, heartbreaks all of it. We opened up about stuff we’d never told anyone else like the deepest messiest parts of ourselves. And somehow it felt safe. I’d never felt anything like that connection. We got so close so fast and I just fell for him. Hard. He made me realize he was the first person I ever really loved.
He was kind always positive. We’d talk all day every day from the moment he woke up till he went to bed. There was never a dull moment. I appreciated him so much for who he was flaws and all. The things he hated about himself? I loved them. His sensitivity his body he thought he was chubby but I adored every part of him. I loved resting my head on his chest tracing his skin listening to his heartbeat. And his forehead kisses? Ugh my favorite.
Being with him felt so right so peaceful. I’d never had anyone look at me the way he did like I was his whole world. His smile, his eyes the way they’d light up when he looked at me. Even a waitress noticed it once she said she’d only seen a man look at someone like that a couple of times in 10 years. I’ll never forget that.
Everything about him was special to me. His voice? My fav sound. His eyes? The ones I’d get lost in. I loved his laugh his thinking face the way his lips curved. His hand fit perfectly in mine. And those hugs? We’d hold each other for what felt like forever kissing like we didn’t want to say goodbye. He felt like home. It all just clicked.
I believed we were meant to find each other. He was my best friend my safe space my person. I wanted forever with him waking up together making memories building a life. But now, we’re just strangers again and it feels so wrong. Like a part of me is missing. My heart physically aches without him. june 10th 2024 will always haunt me. It’s the day everything ended. And since then I’ve been trying to figure out how to live without him but I still don’t know how. They say time heals but it hasn’t it just hurts more.
Everywhere I go something reminds me of him of us. It’s like there’s no escape. And I’m terrified this is just how life is now this sadness this emptiness. Today I couldn’t even get out of bed without feeling like I’d break down. I eventually forced myself up but it took so much. I try to keep it together but sometimes it just leaks out like tears I can’t control.
He doesn’t want me in his life anymore and I get it but it’s so hard. There was a time we promised to always be there for each other, even as friends. Guess I’m the only one who meant it. I still wonder if he thinks of me if he misses me or if he’s just moved on like it was nothing. Was any of it real?
What if I never get over this? What if I’m stuck feeling this forever? How do I stop hoping for something he said won’t happen? How do I let go of someone I loved so deeply? How do I live with losing the purest most genuine love I’ve ever felt?
How do I survive that?
Last updated on:2025-01-20T15:46:26+05:30
Comments (2)
I got no advice just saying I feel every word. Could’ve written this myself. It’s wild how heartbreaking it is to feel like you were the only one who meant what we said. It’s been months for me but I don’t think this pain will ever fully go away a piece of me’s broken forever. Guess that’s what happens when it’s real... at least it did for me :(
I don’t think there are words that actually help when you’re in this spot. It’s not where you ever think you’ll end up. Heartbreaking doesn’t even cover what it feels like to trust someone so much just to realize their promises and words meant nothing. It’s been months for me and I don’t think this pain is ever gonna fully go away. It’s always there hiding behind the smiles you show your friends so they think you’re finally moving on and doing okay.
A part of me will always love this man, and because of that a part of me will always be broken. I hate admitting this but even if someday I meet someone new and let my guard down it’s never gonna compare to how deeply I feel for the one who left. He took a part of me with him.
You’re right I guess that’s just how it is when it was real. But I’ll never know if it was real for him. I’ve convinced myself that if it was he’d still be here because there’s no way he could just keep going like this. And that thought breaks me even more.