So I am a week into my break up and am utterly devastated still. She is adamant and determined this is over and am realising her toxicity, narcissist and gaslighting now with her blaming me for everything (I am partly to blame but no way entirely my fault). Any way I can still see whe she is on Instagram and noticed lastnight she went quiet about 10.30 (her usual bed time), but then she was back on again at 1.30 am.....this has spiralled me into stressing she was with someone else moving on already and combined with her not being active until late today makes me think it went well. I feel sick and cant focus on more important things like being on holiday with my kids. I know this behaviour of checking when she is online is bad, but it keeps me in someway connected to her. It is also causing me terrible emotional pain though. I am so messed up. Just to add i notice at 1.30 am she turned disappearing messages on with us, which she can only do by checking our previous chat, so clearly she checking on me too. I am all over the place and spiralling.
Last updated on:2025-07-27T23:33:02+05:30
Comments (6)
i remember being on a family trip after my breakup and still obsessing over when he was online. i hated myself for it. you're not crazy—you're just still deep in it. and i swear it won’t always feel this heavy.
same here. my ex used to twist everything so i thought i was the problem. took me a while to see the gaslighting for what it was.
it is so horrific and shreds everything to do with yourself. yet you cannot let them go.....
i felt this in my nervous system. the spiraling, the checking, the overthinking every timestamp… it’s like your brain won’t give you a break. i did this for weeks. it almost broke me.
how did you stop?
I believe you will be okay💕just time