I think what hurts the most is realizing tht I manipulated myself the most in the rls. I saw the signs, I knew he was bad I knew I was settling for him, I knew he didn’t fit in my future, I knew that deep down I didn’t love him the way he loved me, I was just attached nd thts the one thing he was right about. He loved me more than I loved him it would never work. Now I see clearly it hurts knowing tht I never want to go back to him. it hurts bc I thought we would be forever, and now ik in my heart it’s done for real. sometimes I miss the feeling and crave the closeness nd I tell myself I can’t live without him, but I’m harsh with myself and I say “if u can’t live without him then die” bc I’d rather kill myself than go back to something so under me and it’s a struggle because I would really kill myself if it got so bad than to ever reach out or give him another chance when he comes back
Last updated on:2025-11-01T02:11:02+05:30
Comments (3)
it sounds like you’re still fighting your own guilt more than missing him. do you think part of you still blames yourself for staying as long as you did?
be gentle with yourself, okay? it’s so easy to confuse attachment with love when your heart’s tired. letting go doesn’t erase what you felt, it just means you’re finally choosing peace.
i used to tell myself it wasn’t that bad just to make the pain make sense. but realizing i ignored myself hurt the most. i see you, truly