all my previous posts have been quite driven by emotion, and i realized i should probably explain the full story. people have been commenting without knowing the context, and that's on me.
so here's what happened.
my ex and i met online in a game back in october. we started talking more around the end of november and became pretty close friends. around mid-december, he confessed his feelings to me in a long and genuine paragraph. at that time, i only saw him as a good friend, nothing more, so i politely rejected him. things were a little awkward for a few days, but eventually we went back to normal and kind of pretended it never happened.
but that wasn't the end of it.
in january, he confessed his feelings again, this time more subtly, while we were already talking about something else. i didn't directly respond to it at first. however, i started thinking about how well he treated me and how genuine he had been. i felt appreciated. i'm quite a soft-hearted person, and i felt the urge to reciprocate his feelings because of everything he had done for me.
after about a week of reflection, i told him we could try dating, and we did.
during the relationship, i did feel happy and safe, but at the same time i felt pressured. my romantic feelings for him weren't as strong as his, and i constantly felt like i wasn't giving him enough. after about two weeks, i broke up with him. another reason was that i wasn't ready to publicize the relationship yet.
to be honest, a lot of what i was feeling stayed in my head. i didn't openly talk to him about my pressure or doubts until i ended things, and that probably made the situation harder for both of us.
he was very hurt and ended up blocking me.
after about two weeks of no contact, i went back to talk to him. he agreed to hear me out, and i offered to try to fix things and make up for my mistakes. he wasn't in favor of it at first and said it would be better to let go, but i was determined, and eventually he agreed to give me a chance.
we didn't go back to dating. it was more about trying to reconnect and rebuild some kind of bond. however, during those few days i could clearly sense his coldness, and everything felt different in a bad way.
after a couple of days, he sent me a long paragraph saying that his feelings had faded. he said he appreciated the effort i was making and that he did see my attempts to change, but he still wanted to end the relationship because he felt overwhelmed and guilty for not being able to reciprocate my feelings anymore.
then he blocked me again, this time - across all platforms.
what surprised me most was that almost immediately after we stopped talking, i noticed he seemed to be getting close to someone else in our shared gaming community.
to some extent i understand it, because i was the one who hurt him first. but at the same time, it still feels strange to see someone move on so quickly - or at least, that's how it appears to me. personally, i tend to value staying focused on one person for a while before moving on.
but it is what it is.
a lot happened in a short time. i don't want to intentionally wait for him to come back, but i still sometimes wonder if he ever will.
i welcome any thoughts, questions, and/or advice. and thank you to anyone who read all the way to the end. :)
Last updated on:2026-03-03T13:18:03+05:30
Comments (2)
i get why you went back to fix it, i did that too once. but when someone says their feelings faded and blocks you everywhere, i had to take that at face value and step back for real, even when it hurt like hell.
i’ve been on your side of this, saying yes because he was good to me and i felt like i SHOULD feel more. i cared about him, i just wasn’t in love, and the guilt ate me alive. reading this brought all that back.