So, I’m 27 now, and we dated from when we were 16 to 20. She was the realest thing I’ve ever experienced—like, no one else has come close. She wasn’t just my girlfriend; she was my best friend, the person I trusted with everything. But she broke up with me because I wasn’t in a good place, and it was the best thing for her. I was spiraling—drugs, hanging out with trashy people chasing attention from girls who didn’t matter. She tried so hard to help me but I made it too much for her to handle.
Looking back I get it. I was a mess. Honestly, I’d have left me too. Now, though? I’m a completely different person. I’ve been sober for years finished college, built a career, worked on myself physically and mentally, and surrounded myself with good people. I turned it all around, but I still think about her every single day.
Last night hit me hard. I broke down after my mom mentioned seeing her at church events. Apparently my ex went up to my mom gave her a big hug, and was super nice. She even asked about me like, “How’s he doing? What’s he up to?” And when my mom told her she said “That’s great, it’s what I always wanted for him.”
It’s been 7 years. I know she’s living her best life—traveling, thriving in her career, everything seems so perfect for her. I doubt she even thinks about me anymore, at least not like I think about her. But I can’t stop wondering why she’d approach my mom and ask about me. She was my first love, and I know she loved me too, once.
So now I’m stuck. Do you think she might still feel something for me? Or was she just being polite? Our breakup was messy and I was awful to her afterward. I don’t even feel worthy of talking to her but I want to apologize so badly—even if nothing comes of it.
Should I reach out? If so how? I thought about asking my mom to pass a message but maybe that’s weird. Should I text her? Call her? What would I even say? Just thinking about it gives me anxiety but I feel like I need to do this. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?
Last updated on:2024-11-21T13:01:12+05:30
Comments (8)
It's brave to acknowledge your mistakes and want to make amends.
It's natural to wonder what could have been.
I can relate to the feeling of wanting to reach out to an ex. It's a tough situation.
It's admirable how you're reflecting on the past and working towards a better future.
You've clearly learned from your mistakes and become a better person.
Proud of you for turning your life around.
You've come a long way! It's amazing to see how much you've grown.
For sure go for it. Hit her up either through your mom or a text. She seems chill and the worst she’ll do is say she’s not into it but at least you’ll have closure. No point in sitting around overthinking when you can just find out. Honestly I’d love to hear the same from my ex.