my bf of almost 2 years just broke up with me we’re both seniors

my bf of almost 2 years just broke up with me
we’re both seniors, started dating right before junior year
he was my everything like my whole world. i planned my future around him. he was my first bf, first love, first kiss, first everything
i feel gross. i told myself i wouldn’t do that until marriage but here we are and now he’s gone
i think i tied my happiness to him which was so unhealthy. he was my comfort, my social life, everything. i’d freak out if we didn’t text for like 10 mins. i became super controlling and i hate that i did that
i miss him so much especially the memories. i miss his family. i miss the little stuff like scratching his head while driving or looking at baby clothes in stores. i can’t go anywhere without thinking of him
he deleted our posts last night
idk what i’m even saying anymore
i want him back so bad, just one more chance to make it work. a few days ago he said he’d be down to get back together someday, whether it’s tmr or in 30 years. i know hope can wreck you but it’s all i have rn
my heart literally hurts and i can’t breathe
we did everything together—went abroad, called after dinner all of it
it sucks we’re at such a tiny school (less than 15 ppl in our grade), and we have every class together. his seat’s right next to mine. plus our school’s going on a trip to mexico this month and he’ll be there
i’ve been crying to my teachers all day at school
i just want someone to hold me

Last updated on:2024-12-02T12:59:13+05:30