Hi usually don't like to discuss my personal life

Hi usually don't like to discuss my personal life. but right now need to get it out.Been married for 13 years.....but still seems I am waiting for my husband to love me , respect me, be there for me instead of his girlfriends. His cheating seems to be my fault...according to him. His drinking is also because of me. How long should I keep waiting for the man I once loved to come back?? should I let go the past ....let go of hope and begin anew.any and all advices are welcome.....