I’ve been crying and the pain’s unreal

I’ve been crying and the pain’s unreal. After two years he finally told me he loved me and I actually believed him. But when I brought up something real something that showed how little trust and honesty we had he went silent blocked me and straight up avoided the convo. He knew what he put me through before being sneaky hitting up random girls who followed him (and who he followed) casual hookups keepin his options open all while trying to see me too.
After he said he loved me and wanted to meet which hasn’t happened in 2 years even though he’s been pushing for it I finally said okay but I wanted to clear the air about stuff he swept under the rug. I asked him to cut ties with those girls unblock me and follow me for once he’s had me blocked on everything but text for over a decade). All this time he’d be asking to meet up cheating on his girls and I’d still drop everything for him because I loved him. I see now I was letting him treat me like trash.
Now? I’ve learned to love and respect myself. I speak my mind stand firm and call out his BS even if it means getting blocked again. When he said he loved me I was shocked and happy. But when I asked him to take responsibility and show that I actually mattered his vibe changed. I even joked about him still having secret girlfriends or wives a bit dramatic I know but still. Instead of hearing me out he brushed me off and hurt me even more still keeping his backup options open. His response? Congrats you’re blocked. wow.
It’s crushing to think someone who says they love you would rather hold onto casual flings or what-ifs than commit. Especially knowing how much they’ve already hurt you.
I know asking those tough questions was right and I made it clear I won’t settle for less than love and respect shown through actions. God knows how much I loved him and I deserve a real equal partnership. For some reason I thought he could step up but nahhe let me down hard. And now even after saying he loves me he blocks me everywhere like I don’t matter. It hurts more than words can explain. I can’t deal with this pain. I keep wondering if he’ll ever unblock me if he’ll reflect on what he did or if people like him even learn. It feels so unfair.
This time that dream of marriage a home, kids and a real family felt so close and just like that it’s gone because I asked for what I needed. I’m also kinda mad at myself.

Last updated on:2025-01-06T13:50:52+05:30