I’m not even sure how to start this or where to go with it but here we are

I’m not even sure how to start this or where to go with it but here we are. So I’m almost 28 and my life’s been a straight- p rollercoaster. I grew up in a small town had what seemed like the perfect fam until it wasn’t. I started kindergarten at 4 met my best friend and we’re still besties to this day which is lucky. School was chill though I was a good student, smart, friendly friends with everyone. When I was 9 my parents got divorced and I didn’t get it at the time. My dad did some messed up stuff I’m not gonna get into it but he’s a totally different person now. He was an alcoholic who couldn’t control himself so for years I didn’t see him. Eventually my mom lifted the protection order and I got to see him again. He had turned his life around and became a better man and still is today.
I kept doing well in school and was also an athlete. I had a solid crew of like 7 guys who were all smart and into sports too. After we graduated my friends went off to college but I was stuck trying to figure out my life. I thought I was just taking a year off but I never ended up going to college. At 19 I fell for a girl moved in with her and her fam. They owned an ice cream shop that was struggling,so I worked extra jobs to help out. Things were good for like 11 months but then she decided to go to beauty school and start doing coke with her friends. She ended up cheating on me so we broke up. I moved to Ohio with my brother for a year working 2 jobs but then she came back a few months after the breakup. I was broken but I took her back because I thought it was the right thing to do. We moved back in with her fam and I worked crazy hours to help out and be a good boyfriend.
Then during Covid we finally moved out on our own after 5 years. We were planning to get married and I was gonna surprise her with a proposal that summer. But mid-July I found out she had been talking to some guy. He was far away but he convinced her she’d be better off without me. It was wild. After everything we’d been through together from the highs to the lows we were finally finding some peace… and then it all fell apart. It was a morning in July around 4am. I drove her to the train station in Pittsburgh and dropped her off. I never saw her again.
Even though it's been years, I still can’t forget her laugh, her smile, her face, or the way she loved me. I’ve tried dating but it never works out. It’s like she’s always there in the back of my mind. I lost someone I thought was gonna be my forever and now I just wander through life unsure. The lesson I’ve learned? When you find something your heart and soul truly crave fight for it. Because when it’s gone you’ll feel like home will never be home again.