I met him during my whole quarter life crisis figuring myself out era. I learned so much about myself while I was with him but now five years later we’ve parted ways and everything I thought I had figured out feels fake. did I grow because of him or would I have learned all that on my own?
Everything I do reminds me of him. It sucks. I can’t even make decisions because I used to ask for his opinion on everything. I don’t wanna dive into my hobbies either because he was part of me picking them up whether he was teaching me something new or hyping me up when I wanted to give up. Now I feel like I’m back at square one trying to figure myself out all over again and it was rough enough the first time. I don’t wanna go through that again but everything I do or think about still circles back to him. It’s like I’m empty and lost just like when we first met.
Honestly our relationship wasn’t easy. It was messy full of drama and toxic. I relied on him so much for validation that I ignored all the red flags. I let myself be treated in ways I didn’t deserve just to feel like I was making progress in life. Maybe I didn’t actually learn as much about myself as I thought I just let him be a shortcut to feeling like I was growing.
But it still hurts. And I don’t wanna face it. I know there’s no fixing anything now but part of me just wants to go back to pretending he was perfect even if it meant being lied to and disrespected. I got so used to living in denial and ignoring who he really was how much I was manipulated. It’s terrible but I just miss the comfort of it all—the familiarity.
Last updated on:2025-01-14T14:15:17+05:30
Comments (1)
4 things I’ve realized that seriously changed my mindset. It’s been a weeks now and he broke up with me over text no reason given. Most of the pain has passed and I’m starting to feel like me again:
What if everything you’re going through the hurt the anger the confusion is setting you up for everything you’ve been asking for? You can’t want something and not get ready to receive it. You’ve wanted love happiness. What if this is the universe clearing space for that to actually happen?
Your worth isn’t defined by a guy. You don’t exist just to meet his needs. You’re your own person with family friends dreams. Your world doesn’t revolve around him and it never should.
You’re not grieving them you’re griving the version of yourself you were with them. In the relationship it was always we not I. Your actions your thoughts they were all shaped around them. Now they’re gone and so is that part of you. It feels like you’ve lost yourself but you haven’t. You’re just rebuilding. Find who you were before them. Put yourself first. You don’t need them to be whole. You’ll find someone new and build something different. And that doesn’t mean it’ll be less it might be everything you’ve ever wanted.
Don’t text them. Don’t beg. Don’t explain. You want them to know how much they hurt you? They already do. They knew what breaking up over text would do to you and they did it anyway. They’re choosing not to be in your life not to talk to you. There’s nothing you can say that’ll change that. So take all that energy and invest it in yourself. Why would you want to chase someone who doesn’t want you?
I don’t know if this helps, but it’s really helped me.