So I (29F) broke up with my bf (34M) cuz he just wasn’t respecting me anymore and didn’t care about my feelings. He was going through stuff and I really tried to be there for him but he kept twisting everything I said like I was making it about me. All I said was that I cared and didn’t wanna see him get hurt. He kept saying don’t worry about me but then got mad when I didn’t. I really did care but he wouldn’t let me support him. Plus he straight up said he’s not ready for anything serious while I actually wanted to make it work. Gave him a chance to talk about us and he just said he didn’t care. Even told me it’s all good if you find someone better like??? So when I finally ended it he got mad again and said I was making it about me. Bro didn’t even fight for me. I was done.
Now I just keep missing him and all the good times we had but I knew this wasn’t gonna work. It sucks but I know I made the right call.
Last updated on:2025-02-04T15:15:31+05:30
Comments (3)
He said he didn’t want anything serious and you kept trying to make it work. Keep that in mind.
It’s tough like really tough watching someone struggle and having your efforts to care just backfire.
At the same time he stayed firm on what he wanted.
Sometimes we gotta step back and see the person for who they actually are not just the role we want them to play in our lives.
He was straight up telling you he wasn’t in a place to meet your needs or match your level of attachment.
If you really care for him in a selfless way it means not asking for things he can’t give even if that means respecting his need to handle his stuff alone.
When people feel pressured to give more than they can it just makes them feel guilty and not enough which only adds to their struggles. They need space to figure things out on their own timeline.
A lot of the time they lean on people who distract them from their problems instead of actually dealing with them. Heavy emotional talks? Not their thing.
So when he said you were making it about you it was probably his way of saying he felt pressured when you tried to help.
For whatever reason it made him uncomfortable.
And since you kept trying despite his resistance, he might’ve felt like you weren’t really hearing what he needed to feel supported.
He had his guard up didn’t want a serious relationship and suddenly he’s feeling pressured to break those walls down and let you take on a big role in his life. That just wasn’t what he wanted or needed.
So yeah, from his perspective it would be about you if he ignored his own boundaries.
I get it though. When we care about someone who looks vulnerable we just wanna step in and be there for them.
But if you see a baby deer alone in the woods you don’t just go The woods are scary I should take them home so they’re safe.
You recognize that being left alone is what’s best for them even if it’s hard to accept.
I get what you’re saying. It’s tough cuz that’s just how I am I didn’t wanna see him hurt and I wanted him to know I was there. Maybe I could’ve said some things differently but in the moment it felt right. Now I get that he needs space and I had to step back cuz I couldn’t be in a relationship where I couldn’t support him or even talk to him about stuff. I still care about him tho. Walking away was hard but it felt like the right move for both of us.
Looks like you totally did the right thing