last night me n my partner broke up

last night me n my partner broke up.. from the moment we met there was smth special but timing was off.. we were both w other ppl n eventually i left the job where we met
fast forward 2 yrs we were both single again n somehow found our way back to each other.. sparks were still there.. after 4 months of seeing each other we made it official
our lives just clicked fr.. ppl always said we looked so in love.. friends fam even strangers.. n we were.. i’ve never loved like thatbefore never been loved like that before.. he was the first person i ever thought abt marrying.. we wanted forever
but obv smth was wrong otherwise we wouldn’t be here rn.. he’s an alcoholic.. we thought him being sober for a yr meant he had it under control but we were so naive.. this past year was bad.. he started drinking more n when he was really drunk he’d get verbally abusive.. it was like night n day.. i swear he was the most wonderful man but that doesn’t erase the times he wasn’t
so last night we decided to separate.. he knows he can’t be the man i deserve n i can’t keep being w someone who treats me like that.. i do deserve better n he has so much work to do before he’s okay in general
he's trying tho.. good therapist good sponsor goes to AA but he still hasn’t faced his demons.. i rly hope he does.. i know he can get better but he hasn’t been willing to do the real hard work yet..
my heart is shattered.. i’ve never loved like this never been loved like this.. addiction took him away from me n now i have to pack my things n leave him behind.. idk what to do w our old pics or souvenirs from trips.. i don’t wanna throw them out they’re part of the best times of my life
i’m in therapy working on healing but rn it just feels so hopeless.. i know i wanna be loved again but i won’t settle for less than what he could give me (when he was sober).. my heart wants to wait for him but i know i can’t.. i’m not putting my life on hold esp when idk how long it’ll take for him to get better
logically i know what’s right..move on don’t wait focus on urself but that doesn’t make my heart hurt any less.. i’ve been thru breakups before but this feels like losing someone forever.. like grief.. i’m sick to my stomach n i can’t stop crying.. we both still love each other n that makes it even worse.. we know this is the right choice but we don’t want it
i’m lucky to have a good support system n i know i’ll be okay someday.. but today is killing me n i know it’s gonna hurt for a long time.. i think i’ll always love him in some way.. i’ve never been a hopeless romantic but it really feels like i just lost the love of my life.. i rly thought our timing was finally right

Last updated on:2025-02-05T15:08:39+05:30