I’m 18 she’s 16. She’s a trans girl came out while we were dating. When we met I knew her as a different gender but yeah.
I was in drama class got along with a lot of people so we made a Discord server. I started talking to this girl. She liked me I didn’t feel the same. I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. She kept begging me to date her was super pushy and disrespectful. I called her out and she got all like omg I’m a monster and apologized. I forgave her. Then I caught feelings bc I looked past it and our convos got better. We talked for like 1-2 months then we got together.
It had to be long distance bc I graduated early in December neither of us had a car and we lived too far apart.
We really loved each other. We treated each other well. I swear we could’ve made it if we tried harder. But I have some kinda personality disorder something that feels like bipolar chronic depression ADHD and anxiety. How do I even deal with all that? I thought I could still be with someone despite my struggles. But I know I’m a lot. I’d always ask do you really love me? or say I’m not that great and brush off compliments. Had way too much selfhate suicidal thoughts. We’d fight bc I’d break down, couldn’t stabilize myself. I still don’t know how. She had her own struggles too but not like me.
I feel awful that I still can’t get it under control. It was her first relationship. She didn’t deserve all that. She left me once we tried again then she left again. She always said she’d never leave but I was too much. I ruined it.
She also wanted something more like more involved not just long distance. I tried suggesting we call more but she gave up. I wasn’t worth it anymore. I wanna be mad at her for not keeping her promise but honestly I’d leave me too. I’d have moments of I gotta do better but then I’d spiral into nothing even matters I don’t wanna be here. And that stressed her out.
Last updated on:2025-02-10T15:37:59+05:30
Comments (2)
You def care about her but you gotta be kind to yourself too. Healing takes time and it’s totally okay to put yourself first before rushing into anything.
You can’t be your best for someone else if you’re not feeling good and stable first.
First off sorry you had to go through that break up I know it sucks but sometimes things just don’t work out and that’s okay. Sounds like she didn’t wanna do long distance which is outta your control so don’t be too hard on yourself
When it comes to being in a relationship while dealing with a mental disorder the main thing is to keep working on yourself Get treatment build coping skills and have people in your corner who keep you grounded Even if it’s always part of your life as long as you don’t let it control you you can still live the life you want
Think of it like having another medical condition like being paraplegic You didn’t choose it, yeah it makes things harder, but it doesn’t define you You just gotta adapt and understand it
Hope that helps Wishing you the best through all this