I recently hurt someone I really care about because of decisions I made from past trauma trust issues insecurities and depression (that the docs said affected certain parts of my brain). I’m not trying to justify what I did we already talked about everything that went down and while we’ve forgiven each other we know we can’t be together anymore. I’ve never regretted anything more and even though I’ve said that nothing’s gonna fix the trust I broke or the distance I put between us. Having to accept that things will never be the same and being the one who messed up and has to carry all the guilt I’ve basically had everyone walk away. I just wanna know does anyone care about the people who mess up? Like we always hear everyone makes mistakes but what good is that saying if when someone does mess up the world just judges them by that and nothing else no matter how sorry they are? Everyone’s left me with no care for how I feel or what happens to me. No care for how bad it hurts to make a genuine mistake and lose someone I never wanted to hurt. So how do people like me heal when society makes us feel like we don’t deserve any help or support, and we’re just supposed to suffer for what we did?
Last updated on:2025-02-17T16:53:39+05:30
Comments (11)
I'm glad she knows her worth cause dealing with a mistake like that would be heartwrenching. I get where you're coming from but also not really cause my partner just cheated on me and now I’m asking myself what now? I love him but he didn’t love me enough to think of me when he did what he did. Hurting someone you love? Nah that’s not cool. Props to you for owning up to your mistakes tho I’m not applauding the wrong part but at least you recognize it. Moving forward things happen and we get caught up but what you did? That was definitely messed up. My advice? Pray move on and if you guys find your way back maybe that’s God’s plan. But right now focus on becoming better and asking for forgiveness.
Thanks for being real with me. And yeah I know what I did was messed up and I hurt my person. That’s why I’m going through it rn. Also I never mentioned their gender here
forgive yourself for the stuff you did before you knew better. Let it go and you'll start healing.
It depends. What was the mistake how did you react when stuff hit the fan, and did it take everyone ditching you to start feeling bad?
Usually it’s not the mistake itself that pushes people away it’s the aftermath. If you kept messing up or the situation dragged out cause you couldn’t show real remorse accountability and fix things fast people will start seeing that as your true self.
Self-pity guilt trips being mad or deflecting to other people mess up too doesn’t make anyone feel sorry for you. It’s just defensive and shows you can’t be vulnerable enough to understand how you hurt others.
Owning up to your actions and responding with compassion for the damage you caused is key if you want others to show you grace.
I get where you're coming from and appreciate your response but I promise I owned up to my actions right away. We talked for over 3 hours after trying to work things out and in the end the person still wanted to be together but had already mentioned it to a bsf which made it weird. I'm not asking how to fix things with them. I know the impact my mistake had and that's why I'm struggling. I took responsibility and we talked through it. Hope that clears things up and helps you answer my questions based on that.
@ParadoxME Maybe your healing’s not about focusing on what you lost.
You’ve picked up some humility which you can definitely use for good.
If you’re serious about not making that mistake again you’ve already hit acceptance and accountability.
Forgiving yourself might be the next step. And living by your word that you’ve learned a hard lesson and won’t repeat it. Never waste a crisis.
Eventually you’ll just naturally grow apart from that past version of yourself that made that mistake and it’ll be easier to have compassion for their ignorance.
That’s how I see the healing process. Change.
This is me
Sigh I really feel for both the people we've hurt and for people like us who just get judged for the mistakes we made.yeah people say everyone makes mistakes but it’s never that simple you know?
Forgive yourself and give it another shot. We all have regrets. Life doesn’t stop for anyone just roll with it. Learn from your mistakes and don’t be too hard on yourself. Sounds like you know you messed up. Best thing you can do is keep going.
It’s gonna take a minute but I’m glad you see that I know I messed up. it’s hard to focus on anything else right now.
@ParadoxME Take all the time you need to heal no rush. Even if you feel like you messed up I still think there's grief in what you're going through. Just let those feelings come and go.