I’ve made the hardest decision ever. I left my first love the one I thought was the love of my life because I realized I deserved better. I 19F met my ex when I was 14. We dated all through high school but after a year and a half he broke up with me saying he didn’t think he was good enough for me and that I deserved more than his lack of effort. He was dealing with a lot mentally and emotionally. After 9 months of no contact we reconnected and gave it another shot because I still genuinely believe our love was real and rare. Things were good he did the little things we hung out a lot, and he took initiative. There were flaws, of course, but I could handle them because he made me feel cherished, like he truly valued me. After high school I moved away to chase my own goals and we went longdistance. Even though I was scared about the unknown breaking up wasn’t an option we were gonna make it work. We both had our issues his lack of initiative planning dates getting me little things and opening up emotionally but I was willing to work with it as long as I felt loved. But then we hit a familiar plateau. He went back to being lazy self-pitying, and not growing. Having a good day became rare, and we kept going back and forth. Me asking for more him feeling drained. He’d say I deserved better even that he’d try to be better but he never did. I feel like I was doing both sides of the relationship. It’s hurtful to ask for the basics like him calling me (we were long distance) or asking about my day or responding to messages. He was overwhelmed with life even admitting sometimes the relationship felt like a chore. It was hard for me to feel bad about it though because I moved away for school have no friends and was stressed too. But we’re adults and I tried so hard to keep us afloat hoping he’d become the man I knew he could be. But after him not calling me (even though I begged him to call once a week) I was upset. He woke up and we kept going in circles. Then he said he didn’t see himself getting married or living with me and that’s when I knew I could only extend myself so much. I feel broken and unsure if I made the right call. What if I had been more patient? What if I had worked on my faults sooner? What if I didn’t contribute to the push and pull that made him pull away? In our breakup texts he apologized for not giving me what I deserved but I just can’t wrap my head around how he’s okay knowing his inaction led to this. Anyway if anyone has any success stories whether it’s personal healing or finding your way back I’d love to hear it.
Last updated on:2025-02-21T13:25:43+05:30
Comments (9)
You're 19! You have so much life ahead of you.
His words are empty if his actions don't match.
Long distance is tough but it shouldn't be that tough.
You're worth more than breadcrumbs of affection.
Love shouldn't feel like a constant struggle.
His inaction speaks volumes. You deserve someone who
acts.
Good for you for prioritizing your own happiness.
You deserve so much better than someone who treats you like a chore.
OMG that's rough. You're so strong for making that decision.