I met this girl back in December and for like 7 weeks we talked every day hung out a lot and got super close. We clicked so well and realized we were literally everything we both wanted in a partner. She was all in head over heels for me. We were about to make it official. But then, after we hung out 3 weeks ago she suddenly ended things two days later. Like the night before everything was fine. At first she said she realized her feelings weren’t as strong as she thought. Then she switched it up and said she got a bad gut feeling and needed to trust it. Later she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship and didn’t realize it until now. She’d pulled away from me a couple times before, but it was always due to stress from other stuff and she came back after just a few days. This time though, it feels different like it’s final. She swears it’s not me that I didn’t do anything wrong but I’m just not buying it. Now she wants NOTHING to do with me. This whole change was so sudden and drastic I don’t even know what to think. Please help.
Last updated on:2025-03-03T16:08:48+05:30
Comments (5)
I get that you're stuck on it not knowing what went wrong. But honestly you're kind of obsessing. The whole need to have control and know exactly what she was thinking might've come off in a way that gave her bad vibes. You probably didn’t even realize it. Did you try to push things where you wanted them? Rush her? Overwhelm her? Cross any lines?
No matter how strong someone’s feelings are they still need to feel like they can be themselves, not someone else’s. Having that autonomy taken away? Yeah that definitely leaves a bad gut feeling, and it can make someone pull away even if they want to stick around.
If that’s what happened yeah it would've been nice to know how she was feeling, but she might not have been able to fully process or put it into words. Pressing her for answers would've just made her more anxious. Best move now is to reflect learn from it and just be more mindful moving forward.
I was super respectful of her boundaries and let her set the pace
I know this isn’t what you wanna hear but it’s the truth if someone thinks it’s better not to tell you the truth,trust them. I’ve been there a few times kept pushing for the real answer and yeah I’ve gotten it. But every time the truth was always harder to deal with than just not knowing. I’ve never gotten an answer that made me feel better for knowing. It’s always been like I wished I never found out. And honestly even if it helps you move on, you can’t unsee someone for who they are once you realize they’re capable of that.
I'm sorry but you probs won't ever know... I can promise she wasn't being real with you. It could've been anything.
I get why this is so hard to understand. One minute everything’s perfect she’s all in like obsessed with you. Then outta nowhere she pulls back and wants nothing to do with you. Feels like a complete 180 and you’re left thinking What did I do wrong?
But honestly? You probably didn’t do anything wrong.
People act on feelings and instincts sometimes without even getting why they feel that way. She gave you all these reasons cause she doesn’t even fully know why she’s feeling how she feels. It’s not weird for someone to be super into someone then get scared or realize they’re not ready or start doubting things for reasons that have nothing to do with you.
When she says It’s not you,” she might actually mean it. Maybe she’s got commitment issues some personal stuff to deal with or maybe it just felt like things were moving too fast. But at the end of the day does the reason even matter? What matters is she made her choice and as much as it sucks you gotta accept it.
I know it’s tough to wrap your head around especially when it felt so right and mutual. But don’t drive yourself crazy looking for an answer you might never get. What you do know is that she wants space and the best thing you can do now is respect that and focus on moving on.
It’s gonna hurt for a bit but you will get through it. Just take it day by day.