I’ve had some really kind people show interest but I turned them down. I guess it’s all on me. I got way too attached to someone who lovebombed me at first and I wasn’t really into it but then I got obsessed and he became cold dismissive and just used me. Like why the hell did I let myself get so fixated on someone who couldn’t care less when I was in the hospital almost dying? He ghosted me the same day. And of course I took him back and kept getting ghosted over and over. I’m totally messed up a total masochist and I can’t even figure out why I let myself fall into this.
Last updated on:2025-03-05T16:10:40+05:30
Comments (13)
Sounds like you got stuck in this toxic back and forth. The lovebombing at first pulled you in and when things changed your brain just kept holding on to that first version of him chasing that high of who he pretended to be. That switch from all that warmth to cold rejection can lowkey turn into an emotional addiction. It’s not about liking the pain it’s just your brain trying to figure out the inconsistency wanting validation from the one person who won’t give it to you.
You’ve got some serious attachment issues. Maybe time to hit up therapy.
Saying it's abnormal feels kinda shady… it's totally normal to have attachment issues if we went through attachment wounds as kids.
Maybe check out Coda (Codependents Anonymous) if you haven’t already I’ve dealt with this too so no judgment just saying it from a place of understanding
Dang. Nah I actually don’t. I can't stand cold and distant people and can’t wait to see them bounce.
It’s defs something we don’t get and the psychology behind it. My ex really had me doing a deep dive into my own struggles.
That kinda behavior usually means there’s probs a third party involved. I was in your shoes, and just last week I found out he had a gf now fiancée the whole time. Dude was bouncing between us and of course, we had no clue. get some help love. Sounds like there’s some attachment or codependency stuff you might need to work through. No judgment I’ve been there too. Still am tbh it doesn’t just disappear but we learn to handle it in a healthier way and try to heal.
We lowkey gravitate towards relationships that kinda reflect how we vibed with our childhood caregivers
You wanna be the one to fix them huh? But like you can't and that's cool it's all good.
It all starts with looking at the good and bad stuff. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) – the more of those you have early on the harder life might be. Think about that and you’re on track to figuring it out.
They lovebomb you then go cold so you keep chasing that love vibe. Total manipulation move and it works :(
It's lowkey simple tho. We all want what we can't have it's just how people are.
When someone acts like you're invisible your ego gets hit so you start wondering why. And without even realizing, you end up in this weird back-and-forth (not really a CnM thing but kinda like that).
childhood attachment issues and unresolved trauma