Me and my boyfriend been working through some serious trust issues for 3 weeks now no cheating but I lied about my drinking habits tryna do everything to prove I’m trustworthy—therapy n all that—just hoping he forgives me and we can get back to us. We’re not broken up we still talk every day still say I love you and miss you. Yesterday he said he’s not giving up on us he’s committed but today feels like a step back. I told him if we miss each other maybe we should try to get back to normal a little like hanging out and all he said was thank you now it feels like he’s barely talking to me. I’d do anything for him to believe I won’t hurt him again I can’t imagine us not making it but every setback after progress just feels scarier. Any advice? How do I not spiral? Walking away isn’t an option.
Last updated on:2025-03-20T13:55:42+05:30
Comments (12)
if me n my ex ever got back together after she cheated (we not) I'd need crazy control so she could prove herself back into my life if he really only cared about earning trust back I'd give him that never been in that spot but I feel like it’d be worth something
We’re not dealing with cheating but I get you and totally agree. I just gotta be patient give him time answer questions and talk when he’s ready. Gotta let him heal and focus on what I need to work on to be better. Hopefully he sees that and gets to a place where he can trust me again. And yeah I know I’m super lucky he’s even giving me this chance rn. Appreciate it fr.
@PommesPie I think you gotta give him whatever helps him build trust like if that means texting back fast or sharing your location or whatever’s on his list you should do it if you really wanna make that trust solid. If it were me I’d probably say she gotta leave the nightlife job and stick to daytime work just cuz that environment ain't it for a relationship.
Give him some space let him process everything he’ll come to you when he’s ready. Maybe the whole drinking thing and lying about it messed with him a bit? Just let him breathe and see what happens.
Tbh you’re in a better spot than some of us here but don’t lose hope. Just give him space and let him figure things out.
Yeah the lying about drinking is what really messed it up for him He just doesn’t get why I’d lie like that and keep doing it to his face Lowkey I’m kinda glad it happened tho cuz now I’m sober and actually doing good with it But at the same time I’m like damn why did it have to get that bad why did it take all this for me to finally stop He’s gotta process all that too It made him question everything and took a toll on his mental health He’s got every right to protect himself fr Take the drinking out of the equation and we had something really solid so it’s tough for me to just be like look now we can fix it Cuz in his head we already had that and then I broke that trust and I get it It’s fair I just gotta give him space and time We’re so far apart but we both wanna make it work I just wish we could meet in the middle ya feel
maybe it’s cuz people be playin too many games n like i just wanna chill n talk but idk what to believe rn. i got some questions that won’t hurt or blame or anything just for my peace of mind. but imma only ask them over the phone or in person.
I’d just be real with him n say his response got you feeling kinda insecure then ask what kinda timeline he’s thinking. That way you’ll know what you’re working towards n it might help ease the anxiety.
I messed up in my relationship too n I’m hoping to fix things soon. We’re planning to have a call this weekend.
Good luck talking to him I know he needs time to process everything and see how I act and if I’m actually gonna change or not I don’t think an ultimatum is the move rn I don’t wanna push him to decide if he’s not ready he might regret it or lowkey resent it Appreciate your thoughts
@PommesPie A timeline ain't like a do-or-die thing it's just tryna figure out when y'all moving forward again or what they see the healing process looking like oh and thanks hope it goes well and he’s down to try again
@Dinoomow thanks for clearing that up i appreciate it makes sense to have a loose timeline cuz it’d be easy to just sit around waiting for a relapse that might not even happen at some point he’s gotta decide if he’s down to be vulnerable with me again or if he just can’t
@PommesPie hope everything falls into place for you so you can live your best life fr 🧡 manifesting the same for me too btw just started therapy
@Dinoomow Good luck to you! Thanks for the conversation