I’ve been WFH for four years now while doing long distance with my ex from UK guy. We met before the pandemic when I was working on an island and he was there studying med. He’s nine years younger than me but I never really cared. Not that it matters but I’ve always had a thing for younger guys.
We met on social media. I wasn’t looking for anything serious back then probably cuz my past relationships flopped. Wasn’t into flings either though I did meet a few people before him. Perks of being a marketing manager—free accommodations.
Our first meet-up was solid. He was sweet kind just... different. Not like the ego-driven guys who were just looking for fun. He actually treated me well showed up made me feel valued. Then one day he invited me to his place a shared apartment with other UK med students. It was new to me the warmth the kindness the effort. And when I realized I was falling? I blocked him. I got scared. Wasn’t used to being treated that well. Love freaked me out.
But then he found me on Facebook. A few weeks later we met again.
By March 2020 COVID hit. Somehow we still made it work. Around that time I got kicked out of the hotel I worked at cuz my boss found out I had a side job. He offered me a place but I didn’t wanna take advantage of him and his roommates since they were all just living off their parents' allowance. Still he always showed up bringing me food sharing drinks dancing singing. I really thought he was the one. He never missed a text always sent pics (which he called "clicks") even vibed with my coworkers.
Six months later he passed his exam and had to go back to UK.
We talked every day every night. Shared pics. Kept the connection alive. In 2022 we reunited in Paris. He told me we’d meet again that he’d talk to his parents. But deep down I wasn’t convinced he was doing enough. Still I lived in the moment.
We met again in 2023 and the last time was 2024. As time passed the fights started. I got insecure suspicious when he started working as a medical officer. But he never said he wanted out. After our last meet in October 2024 we were still attached he even told me he saw me in his life forever. He asked me to reach out to my tattoo artist from 2021 to get him a tattoo that said Fall down 7x stand up 8.
Then December 2024 he dropped the bomb he was getting arranged.
I blocked him. Two days later I emailed. He said the engagement was off cuz the girl wasn’t a good match. No idea why but I kept talking to him. Maybe I was stupid. But the sweetness and kindness we had? Turned into nonstop fights.
Still we talked every day.
He was my motivation. WFH never felt lonely cuz I had him. I didn’t care about losing friends cuz he was there. And then I realizedI lost myself trying to make him my whole world. What I felt with him I never felt with anyone else. So I stayed.
But just a week ago he didn’t text me all day. When I reached out he said his fam found a good match and he was getting engaged. That was last Sunday. This weekend it’s happening.
I’m shattered. I feel like I lost a huge part of myself. He said he still wanted to keep in touch but the same day I found out I was blocked on Messenger. He claimed his brother and sister-in-law did it but I don’t buy it. Last time he called was Monday. After that I blocked him.
The worst part? I have no support system rn. I just need someone to talk to while I heal. Someone who gets it. And yeah I wanna move on.
After I blocked him he didn’t even try to reach out.
Last updated on:2025-03-20T20:45:58+05:30
Comments (12)
I kinda see this more as you being socially isolated tbh
Like he seems like a solid dude but you probs knew from the start his fam was gonna arrange something for him
You still kept him around tho, and whether you admit it or not you sound lonely
Now don’t get me wrong being alone and being lonely aren’t the same thing. I’m alone too—WFH no friends but I don’t feel the need to meet new people or date. I’m alone but not lonely (I was in a years relationship with someone I loved but who took that love for granted. When I got out I just wanted my own time and life. Now I take lessons learn a new language,play an instrument study at uni volunteer travel to war zones to help people run my own business do sports play games and watch TV. All with the time I choose to spend on myself instead of another person)
I keep myself so busy and entertained that loneliness isn’t a thing for me. The way you talk about WFH makes it sound like he was kinda a crutch for your social isolation
Instead of focusing on him ask yourself what you're not giving yourself that you’re looking for in someone else. No one will ever complete you the way you complete yourself
just signed up for a retreat and rn i’m saying yes to anything that helps me heal. it’s not a huge progress yet but u were right. i was lonely. i chose wfh bcos it worked for me. i used to be super social but struggled financially, living paycheck to paycheck. when i switched to remote work i realized i could level up my finances and juggle more than one job.
lowke i thought there was a future for us. he inspired me to be a better person something i never really felt before. before him i was chill being single, super independent, never got too attached. but then i met him and damn i actually loved him that much. even from the start i kinda knew it was all just an illusion, but i didn’t expect it to hurt this bad once it was real. i wasn’t that person before so i thought maybe i had a chance. but culture was the wall between us. and maybe my own insecurity too. always felt like if i was younger he would've fought for me.
but rn i’m not gonna sit here and pity myself. i wanna put myself back together for me. i’m not scared of being alone, but he made me see that settling down with someone wasn’t a bad thing. now that he’s gone i just wanna focus on me meet new people heal learn a new language and get my energy back. appreciate ur reply :). Btw you’re so wise
@Drag2sadness Congrats this is a really good step.please keep going at it.
Bruh you're literally me fr I can't believe I'm seeing this post cuz aside from the age gap my last relationship was the same I feel this I got no support system either and lost friends along the way too
glad I got someone who gets it not cuz I wanted you to feel this way tho. nah I haven’t read about limerence and yeah I def need a support system too. Can we talk more?
@Drag2sadness You got this fr God's got your back
@Vakoos22 Same to u thanks what I need rn is a solid support system
@Drag2sadness same here fr if u ever wanna talk or vent just hit me up
This whole story is straight-up unhinged bro
Why you never see anything normal
never put your whole world in one person fr it’s not healthy and lowkey suffocates them too stay true to yourself
I kinda knew this from the start I thought it could work but I just wanted to feel like myself again yk adventurous funny friendly n all