A couple years back I was crazy depressed started therapy and finally admitted to myself that I was still in love with my high school ex. Hit her up on socials we started talking again unpacking old trauma tryna get closure on all the stuff we never really resolved.
The connection was still there. I could tell her anything stuff I never could and never will be able to tell my wife. Didn’t take long before we both admitted we were still in love.
If she asked I’d leave my wife for her in a heartbeat. But she won’t. Probably never will. But she means everything to me. I don’t want anyone else never really did.
We kept this going talking almost every day for months. Then her husband who she told from the jump that I had reached out started getting insecure and made her cut me off. That was almost a year ago.
And now my depression is back full force. I almost had what I really wanted in life and now it’s just gone. Probably never gonna get to be with her. I don’t see myself making it much longer. I don’t have hope anymore. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up.
She was my best friend. The best one I ever had. I was alone for so long and then she came back and I felt happy for the first time in forever. Now I have nothing.
And if you just wanna tell me I’m trash that cheating is the worst thing ever and I’m the worst person alive just keep that to yourself. I get it. You’re so terminally single you can’t even picture a relationship falling apart let alone because of you. Don’t care. Heard it all before. You’re not about to shame me into pretending to be a better husband and father.
Last updated on:2025-04-03T12:42:31+05:30
Comments (9)
why u still with ur wife if u don’t even love her i don’t get it
you know how crazy expensive and messy divorce is. it's not like I don't love her I just ain't in love with her
Yeah this ain't a great situation. Most people would say you can’t stay with your wife and that what you did was mad disrespectful. You haven’t really said how things are between y’all tho. Before therapy did you even realize there was a problem? Gotta be real with yourself whatever you had with your ex is probably done for. Feels like when y’all stopped talking that was the moment that really decided everything.
You could hit up the ex but ngl it sounds like you’re just putting yourself through it for no reason. I know it’s tough but think about it if life played out differently y’all might’ve never even met. You really telling me that out of 8 billion people if you don’t end up with this one person happiness is off the table?
it's not even like he's choosing this fr when you love someone like that it's like fate just threw y'all together I know it sounds dumb and yeah we can force ourselves to move on and it takes a lot of strength but it'll never be what we had with them it could be something different something good in a way I can't picture but it won't be that soul-deep connection that just clicked so effortlessly and that feeling is brutal but you can't stay stuck in it you can't live in your feelings I get it
@Baywatch1 I get how you feel but this is turning into more of an unhealthy obsession. If nothing changes, you gotta move on. I know that sounds rough but your feelings for her are seriously making things worse for you. I really think you should give therapy another shot. The first time around it shouldn’t have been about starting an emotional thing and then feeling even worse when it was gone. Feels like she became your crutch, but therapy should’ve been about giving you the tools to hold yourself up.
i had a thing for a guy from high school right? we reconnected cuz he kept reaching out. started hanging out texting non-stop and then boom i realized i never got over him. like i knew i’d love him forever. we slept together twice—all in the last year. but we were seeing each other almost every month just vibing talking exploring, wasting time together. i catch myself looking for him everywhere, like subconsciously.
I feel you she and I got the same vibe like no one else will ever get me like she does
@Baywatch1 back in high school he’d legit spend so much time with me—he’d come home from college and i was the only one he’d see he’d ask me to visit him and we’d watch plays n stay up till sunrise on his tiny couch. i was tight with his whole fam (still am his mom even visited me last summer).. i know him so well and our vibe is unreal
worse than hitler?? chill bro you’re just regular bad