man… I lost my soulmate after 10 years of nothing but love. All on me. Got hooked on a drug betrayed her and myself. I’m clean now but it’s too late. I messed up way too bad. Spent the last two months begging her and God for another shot. No clue what to do now.
My whole life was about loving her taking care of her. That drug took over wrecked everything. Now I don’t even see the point of existing. Back in school when they asked what we wanted to be when we grew up I said the best husband ever and got laughed at. But that was really my dream. My mom’s been in jail my whole life never even met my dad. I just wanted to find someone real and be the best partner and father I could be. Give what I never had. But I ruined it all.
Last time she called me I tried to end it. Took 6 bottles of sleeping pills while on the phone with her. Told her what I did and she begged me to let the cops she sent in. They gave me something to stop the OD. Spent three days in the hospital on watch. She said we could stay friends talk regularly… as long as I never did anything like that again. Haven’t heard from her in a week now. Lowkey regret letting them save me.
Tried dating apps to move on but just the thought of being with someone else makes me feel sick. What do you even do when the one thing you lived for is just… gone? We had baby names picked out. Got an architect to design our dream house. Were saving up to build it. I wanted to grow old with her. Now I just feel empty. My best friend my partner my whole heart just gone.
Last updated on:2025-04-04T17:57:31+05:30
Comments (7)
To be very honest It's so amazing that you have been such a caring and Loving person . May be Using all that care , Love and affection for someone who really need it so much.who has or have no hope of every receiving it and you can be their hope.The best way for self healing is to heal someone
The fact that you want to fix things shows your heart is in the right place. Keep choosing growth even when it’s hard.
Your dream of being a loving partner and father doesn’t have to die here. Healing takes time but it’s possible.
She may be gone but you still have a future worth fighting for. You deserve love happiness and a chance to start over.
I know it feels impossible right now but this pain won’t last forever. One day you’ll find peace in places you never expected.
You’re clean now and that matters. You fought through something incredibly tough don’t let this pain erase the progress you’ve made.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Losing someone you built a life around is devastating but you’re still here and that means there’s hope for healing.