for some context—me (22F) A (24F) and B (27M) all live together

for some context—me (22F) A (24F) and B (27M) all live together. i was friends with A and B separately at first and they only became friends cuz of me. last year i caught major feelings for B but didn’t act on it or say anything cuz he was doing long distance with someone else. i didn’t wanna be that person so i tried to respect it and back off—even tho the feelings didn’t go anywhere.
thing is B would still talk to me and act in ways that totally gave maybe he likes me too energy. that’s probably why my feelings just kept growing. but still his relationship wasn’t mine to mess with so i did my best to stay in my lane. and yeah i feel super gross for even catching feelings. i swear we were just friends at first. i kept telling myself it was just a dumb lil crush—but the shame guilt and logic still didn’t stop my heart from doing its thing.
then a few months back boom. i find out A and B are hooking up. like huh?? apparently they have feelings too but aren’t in a relationship?? idk maybe i’m just old school but that’s confusing af. turns out B broke up with his LDR gf and now him and A are doing whatever they’re doing. and i’m just here… third wheeling in my own damn house. love that for me.
A and i were pretty close before all this but now the vibes are off. tension 24/7. we tried talking it out but honestly i realized you can’t logic your way out of emotions.
and here’s the wildest part few weeks ago B tells me that he liked me back when i first caught feelings for him. like... wtf??? he said he shoved it away cuz he wasn’t sure if i felt the same and didn’t wanna ruin our friendship… also cuz he was still dating that girl. but like... how do you just shove feelings away?? wish i had that skill tbh. and the way he said it made it sound like maybe he still has some lingering feels. he was like i shoved it away but now it’s coming back to bite me. like sir?? what does that even mean. i didn’t ask for more deets tho—maybe i’m just reading too much into it bc i’m a lovesick clown.
anyway i got hella mad. like bro—you liked me weren’t sure if i liked you back so your next move was to hook up with my best friend??? seriously?? and when we talked he said he didn’t wanna be with anyone rn he was tired and needed a break… then went and slept with her that same night?? and kept doing it?? make it make sense. and i’m even more pissed bc my brain knows he’s not the one that i can’t trust him that we’d never work… but my dumb heart still won’t let him go.
it’s been 11 months. yeah. i counted. nothing’s changed. i’ve tried everything to move on distancing myself distractions all of it. but my feelings just won’t go away. it’s so annoying.
like i know all the reasons i shouldn’t love him. and i wish he was just a jerk so it’d be easier. but no. i see the real him under all the mess and i still love that version of him. and the not knowing—like why didn’t he ever tell me how he felt? what changed? that stuff’s driving me crazy. when i asked all he said was i don’t know. but i know he cares. i just don’t think it’s the kind of care i want. if he never liked me that’d be one thing. but he did. and that’s what makes it hurt more.
the only tiny bit of peace i have is that i did the right thing. i never crossed a line. i never tried to mess with his relationship. i just kept it respectful even when it broke me. but where did that get me? i’m the one left with all this pain while he just... moved on. how tf does he do that?? and why can’t i??
i told him a few days ago that we needed some emotional space bc i’m still not over him. he just hit me with “okay cool.” like… ouch. meanwhile this man was out here fighting for A when they tried to stop hooking up. reaching out to her nonstop. that part hit hard too. they’re both a mess tbh. but still. hurts.
so yeah. every day feels like hell. nothing has helped. not therapy. not workouts. not journaling. my brain can’t win over my heart. and i just wanna stop loving him so bad. i know i deserve better than some wishy-washy love. but my heart? she’s dumb and stubborn and still wants him.
any advice?? cuz i’m so tired of this.

Last updated on:2025-04-08T15:47:55+05:30