I thought I had gone through all the stages of grief but maybe not. I even started seeing someone else for a bit and it helped distract me for a while. I traveled alone made new friends and tried doing things that are supposed to be good for me. But lately it feels like this huge wave of emotions tied to my ex just hit me. I’m drowning in regret and sadness.
I’ve been listening to songs like Dancing with Your Ghost All I Want and Another Love on repeat and I just can’t picture ever being loved again. It’s like his name plays in my head over and over like a prayer. For the first time in months I want to see him. I want to call him just to hear his voice.
Yesterday I saw someone at Whole Foods who barely looked like him and I couldn’t stop staring. I’ve even thought about going to a sex club or getting back on dating apps anything to distract myself to feel wanted again.
The breakup was my fault. I’m so broken beyond fixing too messed up too traumatized. He tried so hard to help me for so long but there’s no saving someone like me.
Last updated on:2025-04-14T11:06:15+05:30
Comments (2)
Hey I don’t know you but you’re not broken sick or traumatized beyond being loved. That’s where things need to shift change the way you see yourself. I was with someone for five years my absolute soulmate and he broke up with me for the second time. I’m just shocked. He couldn’t really explain why but it boiled down to him thinking he’s too messed up to handle a relationship.
I tried so hard to be his rock his safe space to love and support him through everything. But looking at it from the other side of your story you can’t truly be in a relationship without loving yourself first. It’s heartbreaking to love someone so much and watch them self destruct taking the relationship with them.
I just hope you know you’re not all the things you said about yourself. You’re hurting deep down, and you need time to heal. I really hope you start loving yourself because you are absolutely worthy of love.
Thanks I really appreciate your reply. My ex wrote out a list of everything that happened over the years in order, and honestly I can’t deny that I played a huge part in what went wrong. I know I need to love myself at least in theory but it’s still mostly just theory right now. years is a long time though. It sounds like you really understand your person’s mindset and your dynamic together maybe that means things can still be worked out. Wishing you nothing but peace and love.