My whole world's wrecked. My wife of five years ten together told me she loves me but isn't in love and doesn't wanna try cuz she thinks nothing'll change. We got two kids one bio one I adopted she's always been my kid even took my last name.
She said I'm the perfect husband perfect dad did nothing wrong and she wishes she didn't feel this way. Her family's all like she's lost it. My friends are trying to distract me and check in. But I just want her and she's cold. Says it's so I don't get false hope.
Don't know if it's someone else she says no or drugs she says no. Maybe a brain tumor or bipolar? Sounds like wishful thinking but I still love her and want what's best.
I did most of the cooking laundry cleaned up after everyone bought her flowers took her on dates get the kids to school half the week no matter how tired cuz that's my job. But it doesn't matter that's just basic. I made my whole world her and the kids and was happy. Used to sleep in two mins now lucky if I get four hours.
Four months ago she said she's never been happier. Said she couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Said the same to her mom and sister. Don't get what changed.
She said she never felt for me like love songs sound. Great now I'm competing with John Legend. Said I deserve someone who's happy to see me. True but doesn't change how I feel.
I'm away two nights a week for work cuz it's far. Kept the job cuz she wanted a house near her family. Job's good pension in five years.
She always said the sex was great. Seemed fine.
So how do I move on? How do I trust again? How do I find someone who loves me back? I love sharing my love and energy. How do I do that again without the fear of them leaving after ten years?
I know I can't control her. Just how I react around the kids. Hard to get out of bed. I do it for them.
I wanna hate her but I still love her. Hope I can feel this way about someone else someday.
But right now I'm broken. Lowest I've been. Dad died in January was rough. Felt like a country song.
Not looking for pity. I know I'll be okay. Still love her. Just gotta be a good dad.
How do I get through this?"
Last updated on:2025-04-15T22:17:19+05:30
Comments (10)
it's so Not about you it's actually about her.Since it's something she finds missing in herself and doesn't know how to find it.You are brave person and your bravery and compassion will help you get through this. You may feel alone but you are not , You are the whole in process of realising
You’re facing so much at once but your honesty and commitment to your kids show incredible strength. Take things slow.you’ll find your way back to trust and love
It’s so hard to understand what changed but try not to lose sight of yourself in this. You’ve got so much love to give and someone out there will cherish that deeply.
Loving someone and still losing them is devastating but you’re handling it with so much grace. Being there for your kids shows how resilient you are even in the darkest times.
You’re asking all the right questions even through the pain. Take time to rebuild your confidence and sense of self you’re worthy of a love that lifts you up.
Grieving a marriage while still loving someone is one of the hardest things but you’re proving your strength every day just by showing up for your kids. You’ll get through this.
You sound like an amazing dad and partner and it’s devastating to feel this way after giving so much. Focus on the love you’ve built with your kids that bond is unshakable.
You’ve given so much to your family and it’s heartbreaking to feel like it’s not enough. Just know that your love and effort are meaningful they matter deeply even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
Your pain is so raw and valid. It’s hard to reconcile love with this kind of heartbreak but you’re showing strength by prioritizing your kids. That says so much about who you are.
I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. Some stuff just doesn't make sense like why doesn't she love me why isn't my love enough. There's no good answer. She's done with the marriage.
So here's the deal you did your part now you gotta let her go. Try to divorce chill and coparent the kids best you can.
Then let time do its thing. It'll take a while but you'll heal.
Only then start looking for someone else. Good luck
start looking elsewhere.. meeting women to date