so me and my fiancé were together like four and a half years lived together for two and engaged for a year and a half

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so me and my fiancé were together like four and a half years lived together for two and engaged for a year and a half.
Last Tuesday he just ended it outta nowhere said last month he started having doubts. He's been in back to back relationships his whole adult life and never been truly single. I asked a bunch if there's someone else but he swears he just wants to be alone. I get it and respect it but we're both struggling hard. It sucks cuz I was ready to settle down fr.
He's been staying somewhere else for five days and I broke no contact to tell him about moving stuff and we talked for an hour and a half and he said the last few days have been rough and he just needs this time and that we're so compatible and a good couple but still doesn't wanna give me hope. But he kept saying we could come back even stronger cuz of how good we are together even with our moments.
I wake up shaking and crash so fast from crying myself out. I shouldn't wait for a dude with doubts even after a proposal but I can't imagine finding anyone even close he was everything I wanted :(
Any advice? I used to be against getting back with an ex but that's kinda the only thing keeping me from totally losing it I'm hoping maybe we'll get back together.

Last updated on:2025-04-17T16:59:31+05:30

Comments (11)

JJhelmal
JJhelmal 11 mths ago

so like that's kinda harsh but no way would I legally tie myself to someone who got cold feet. You should be each other's everything no doubts at all to make it a whole life thing. Get back together if you want but don't settle for someone who was ready to dip thinking they'd be happier solo. You gotta be their one in a billion.

valuable224
valuable224 11 mths ago

fair enough my last relationship was super long and just ended. Loads of ppl our age are single tho. Not tryna be that guy but like we're still young af.

keepsmiling
keepsmiling 11 mths ago

Okay so like look up avoidant attachment that's totally his vibe. Anxious to settle even tho things were chill (as far as I know) so he pushes you away like a breakup.

myselfNeel
myselfNeel 11 mths ago

fr tho I'm so sorry that happened that's actually the worst my ex pulled the same thing it's been months and I'm doing way better now like in the best relationship ever. Back then I thought I'd never love again and no one could compare to my ex but trust the universe the right one for you would never make you feel like you're plan B.

nocallstatus
nocallstatus 11 mths ago

Okay but like there's probably someone else. If it clicks he's dipping if it doesn't he'll be back. Sorry but like that's just been my experience over and over again tho

Darkchoco
Darkchoco 11 mths ago

I'm so sorry I totally feel you it feels like it'll never end. Don't wait on him tho if he wanted to he'd meet you halfway he'd show up for real. You're not a backup don't act like it. There's someone out there who'll treat you like a human they actually wanna be around and would be sad to lose you not just string you along.
Find someone you can actually talk feelings with and who gets that you deserve respect too. They exist.

Girrishamohe
Girrishamohe 11 mths ago

we broke up and after like a few days I was hitting him up to talk but he kept saying eventually needing his space and time cuz we always just got back together quick.
Then after a whole month of him dodging me I was like yo be real and turns out he'd been seeing someone else since the day we broke up like literally. Guess he was just keeping me on the side in case things went south with the new girl. No cap this was so not his usual thing cuz I was pretty much the only serious girlfriend he ever had before.

Babboo21
Babboo21 11 mths ago

Bruh he's being straight up mean.
Like y'all weren't even on the same page cuz he just dipped without even asking about pausing. His choice yeah but then saying we can maybe come back is just messed up and kinda weak.
As a dude I'm telling you drop his ass and heal. So sorry tho. 🙏

Mindlesera
Mindlesera 11 mths ago

Bruh you're totally shook rn. Don't make any moves yet. Just keep breathing tho ❤️

bubbley
bubbley 11 mths ago

Okay so like no cap but he's totally playing you while he sees if there's someone hotter now that he's single. He's saying you're so compatible but also wants you gone. I'd go full ghost mode for a bit to sort your head out and think if you even want someone who's this unsure about you. Wishing you the best tho fr

Smailyshin
Smailyshin 11 mths ago

Thanks so much