I think it was my fault we didn't work out I had undiagnosed BPD the whole time and now with meds and therapy I see how I messed things up for him for two years straight. How do I even forgive myself tho I keep thinking about all the dumb stuff I did the pointless fights the times I made him cry. I can't stop thinking I'm a terrible person and I wish I could go back and fix it but I can't. All I can do is hate myself rn. He totally had the right to dip.
Last updated on:2025-04-18T12:22:42+05:30
Comments (9)
even tho you can't go back and change things you can still
make amends and forgive yourself and ask him to forgive you and apologize to him .
Hey Be kind to yourself. Whether it was his fault or yours still You didn't do it intentionally and that counts.Instead picking on points about what happened , May be focus on your joy and well being now and see where you can take your life now. and it will only happen when you decide to take steps towards betterment and leaving your story behind
Loving yourself through this process is hard but necessary. You’re showing so much courage in facing the past and striving for a better future.
You’re not a terrible person. You were dealing with something overwhelming and now you’re doing the work to make things right within yourself.
The fact that you’re in therapy and on meds shows incredible strength. You’re taking responsibility and working toward healing that’s something to be proud of.
It’s so easy to look back and wish we could fix things but what’s important is how you’re learning and evolving. You’re not the same person you were then.
It’s clear that you care deeply and that’s a big step forward. Healing takes time but forgiving yourself is part of the process you deserve that forgiveness.
Pray then hit up some DBT tho
I feel you fr 😞 Didn't get diagnosed till this year and it messed up my relationship bad too. Like the crazy impulsive stuff and getting violent. Could love him so much then just flip and wanna hit him... Felt like such a bad person and my actions showed it. But I saw someone after I like hurt myself and ended up in the hospital. She said we're def not the first or last with BPD she's seen and getting treatment and getting better can actually lead to happy lives again. I know it won't undo the pain or the stuff we did to people we love but with time I'm hopeful we can be happy again and like fill our own cups so we can make others happy for once. I know this might not be what you wanted to hear but just wanted to say you're not alone and I'm here with you. I'm on a similar vibe. Haha small thing he called me kiwi too like your name lol.
Changing how you act is the real apology. To him to yourself now and in the future. Give yourself some grace tho. Sending hugs