I broke up with my ex like six months ago it was messy and a lot happened that made me super insecure and depressed. We go to the same uni so we got mutuals and people know our deal.
The worst part is I feel like I gotta compete with him especially looks-wise. When we were together we were both kinda bigger and he'd say stuff about my body that stuck. Since the breakup we both lost a lot of weight and people noticed so now the competition feels even more intense.
The pressure got to me so bad I got a messed up thing with food. I even told a friend I was struggling and instead of helping they told me I need to lock in cuz my ex is way slimmer and winning. That really messed with my head. I know I shouldn't care but it's messing with my mental health and I don't know how to stop comparing myself.
Anyone else been through this How do you just let go of the competition and focus on yourself without always comparing?
Last updated on:2025-04-21T14:38:53+05:30
Comments (5)
Okay it's tough but this is a you thing and your ego. You shouldn't even care what anyone else is doing but yeah it's hard. Your friends kinda sound immature tho not gonna lie. If I was your friend I'd say just ditch social media for a bit and just focus on you. No real friend would keep giving you updates on your ex they're in the past people keep bringing up your past to hold you back. If you wanna compete compete with yourself old you versus new you. Also those friends sound kinda sus don't be surprised if they're telling your ex your business. Real talk look deep inside and ask yourself why you're doing this I bet it all comes back to childhood stuff.
thanks for the advice fr You're totally right about the childhood trauma thing I'm in therapy rn tryna level up myself. I just kinda lose my way sometimes tho.
I hit the gym and lost like mad weight after my ex cheated and dipped.
Obvs my health and feeling good are the main vibe but like no cap I kinda wanna show her what she messed up and that I'm thriving without her. A whole you played yourself moment.
Nah I don't see my ex as someone I'm competing with she could be a fitness influencer and I still wouldn't really care. But I can def show her I'm leveling up now that she's out of the picture.
Your take on it being a competition kinda sounds like there might be some deeper stuff going on than just him tho. Mad respect for the weight loss tho that stuff's hard
the whole competition thing? I think that's just from how we were. My ex was always clowning on my weight talking about my broke artist future compared to his engineer flex and always made sure I knew I wasn't it.
Plus everyone online hypes up the glow-up person as the one who wasn't the problem which is just annoying AF. It's hard watching someone who treated you like trash thrive especially when you gave them your whole self and they just didn't care.
What really sucks is right before we fully broke up we were briefly back together and he straight up said he only got back with me to clear his conscience and show everyone I was crazy. Remembering that while seeing his glow-up (at least looks-wise) makes all his shady comments stick even more.
I know he was a trash boyfriend and just a bad person to me but seeing him do better still makes me question myself ya know?
@LoveMe he was into you enough to cuff you for a bit even when you were kinda going through it.
So if he thought that was your low point then you're just gonna keep leveling up. Doesn't matter if he thinks he's winning or whatever. He'll be checking out how much you've glowed up not how he's doing. He came back to hate so just flex and live your best life. He'll be watching and if he slides back into your DMs after that just leave him on read.