I'm just feeling super down empty and like in pain. It's only been a few days but feels like forever sometimes. Like I can't even breathe when I'm crying hard.
The worst part is I had no choice even tho I love her a lot and I think she kinda does too in her own way cause she's hurting too.
But it was just too much damage I couldn't take it anymore. The yelling which was never a thing for me the manipulations the gaslighting the fear of her reactions like walking on eggshells all those years the constant ego hidden under so many feelings.
I'm finally out of that messed up cycle but I just feel lost and broken like my soul got snatched and I barely remember who I was before her. And I feel bad cause I know she's hurting too even tho she never really tried to fix the toxic stuff even when she said she would. Her tries were like super short.
I've never been in this spot after a long thing like this last time was 5 years ago and it was only two years so it was easier to bounce back cause I was still a uni kid with all the friends sports parties and stuff. But now I'm a grown up alone at home way more isolated cause of adult life and cause she kinda made me pull away from people and way more burnt out from life in general plus my chronic back pain doesn't help.
I don't even know how I'll get through this or if I even will. Sometimes I even think if it's worth sticking around with all this sadness guilt and this constant pain in my back that's just always there.
Last updated on:2025-04-23T03:14:25+05:30
Comments (8)
I told myself today that if I feel like I'm going through terrible hurt, then it can only get better from here. It feels bad so there is only better for it to get. I don't have many friends and I don't go out much. Try activities you can do indoors to distract your mind, even if for a minute.
The sadness and guilt are overwhelming now but with time you’ll see that choosing yourself was the best thing you could have done.
Feeling like you’ve lost yourself is so real after a long draining relationship. But deep down your essence is still there waiting for you to rediscover it.
This kind of heartbreak shakes everything inside but you are still here. Even if healing feels impossible now you are already moving toward it.
It’s hard when love is mixed with toxicity..it makes letting go so confusing. But choosing yourself is never the wrong decision. You’ll find your way back.
You had to make a painful choice to protect yourself and that alone shows how much strength you have. Don’t let guilt overshadow your growth.
The weight of it all feels unbearable now but I promise it won’t always be this heavy. Healing is slow but you deserve the peace that’s ahead of you.
Leaving a toxic cycle is painful but it’s also the first step toward healing. Give yourself time.you’re stronger than you think even on the hardest days.