so I'm been talking to this guy casually for like three weeks. THREE WEEKS. known him around local guy he tried to hit me up five years ago but I wasn't in the zone. Always thought he was cute tho. Three weeks ago we matched on an app and been texting daily.
First week was just texts second week we'd be on the phone for like 3-4 hours every night. He said he likes to take it slow which I get but he hasn't said where his head's at or what he wants clearly. Keeps dodging the question. Met up twice and I'm starting to like him but this is stressing me out. This week he's kinda ghosting calls. But I know he's swamped at work and needs sleep but even texts are dry. Feels like I'm carrying the convo. Feels like he's pulling away. Don't wanna be a beg and ask for calls or reassurance but my brain and body are not vibing with this. Need to know where I stand.
The problem is I'm already kinda obsessed. Feeling sick thinking about him and this whole thing. Feel like somethings wrong with me for feeling this way after just three weeks. Worst part is people have told me he's not serious and will mess me around and has a past. His past doesn't bother me and I said I wanna get to know him but he said your pace is faster than mine. That being said he said he can't give reassurance rn cuz it's not his style and doesn't wanna 'sell me a dream' too fast. Thing about me is I go all in if I like someone and I've messed that up before. How do I find out if he's into me without scaring him off? Should I just detach? How do I even do that? It's taking over everything and I can't stop crying.
My bestie and cousin are begging me to ditch this but I can't mentally or physically. Don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe old trauma from a bad relationship but idk. Just need some advice.
Last updated on:2025-04-25T14:13:00+05:30
Comments (8)
Old trauma can definitely make emotions hit harder.
Your bestie and cousin see you struggling, and sometimes outside perspectives help. If they’re worried it might be worth listening.
If he’s already said he can’t give reassurance it’s worth asking yourself if this connection is actually fulfilling you or just causing more anxiety.
Obsessing over someone who isn’t giving clear signals is draining. If detaching feels impossible try redirecting your focus—on yourself your goals your joy.
Going all in quickly isn’t a flaw but protecting your heart is important. If this is stressing you out more than making you happy it’s worth reevaluating.
If he’s avoiding the conversation about what he wants that’s already a sign. You deserve transparency not uncertainty.
Three weeks may feel short but when someone takes up so much space in your mind it can feel like forever. Your feelings are valid but your peace matters too.
It’s totally understandable to feel this way when emotions hit fast it’s hard to slow yourself down. But if he’s dodging clarity you deserve better.