Okay so been with my dude for three years. Started cute but then it got messy. Had trust issues from before but gave him a shot after six months. A year in he drops the bomb his parents hate our inter caste thing even tho we talked marriage before. I dipped but he begged me back said he'd change.
Then he straight up ghosted me for a month when he went home. Had to hit up his friends and found out he was saying I was "chasing him dressed bad and was controlling. I was wrecked started therapy even got hormone problems from the stress. He came back said sorry blamed his fear and parents wanted another chance.
He kept blowing up my phone crying sending vids got his fam involved. I caved. He lost his job and crashed at my place for four months. I paid for everything supported him even helped him get a new gig. But I felt so unloved. He'd just brush off my feelings get defensive say I'll change but never did.
Then my bday rolls around. He makes me cry during a fight. When I didn't forgive him instantly, he was like maybe this isn't working. I asked why he stops me from leaving then, and he's all "Cuz I love you." But love ain't ghosting, yelling, or throwing stuff. Now he's saying it's not even his parents, it's that I "don't respect him," "insult him," and I'm a "feminist" like it's an insult.
I feel played, stuck in this messed-up loop. Don't know if I'm the toxic one or just trauma bonded. Wanna leave but something's holding me back.
Last updated on:2025-05-05T16:24:22+05:30
Comments (8)
Leaving isn’t easy especially when your heart still clings to what could have been. But love shouldn’t make you doubt yourself.
You weren’t loved the way you needed, and that hurts. But holding on won’t change him.
When you start seeing the reality of a situation it’s painful. But that clarity is powerful.
The fact that you’re questioning yourself means you've been made to feel responsible for things that weren’t yours to carry.
If someone truly loves you they wouldn’t make you feel like an option an enemy or a burden.
It’s heartbreaking to be stuck in a loop where love feels more like survival than joy.
You gave him chances stability and support but love should be reciprocal. If he only fights for you when he fears losing you that’s not real commitment.
This isn't love it's a cycle of manipulation guilt and gaslighting. The fact that you're questioning whether you're the toxic one proves how deeply you've been made to doubt yourself.