me and him were never official which feels kinda dumb feeling this way but whatever. We were close friends for like six years. He was probably my first love. But he chose my best friends a couple times so I figured he'd never want me like that. My feelings chilled out over time and we both dated other people. He was always a serial dater.
End of high school he was single and we hung out and talked a lot. We hooked up and for a hot minute I really thought I finally won over my dream guy. Course he just saw us as FWB. During this time my feelings for him totally skyrocketed and it sucked knowing he was always seeing other girls. I watched this sweet funny guy I loved turn into a player and a user and that broke me.
Recently I ended things after telling him the truth and getting a super nice rejection. It was horrible for my mental health but also one of the hardest calls ever. He wasn't just my first love he was a real friend when I needed one.
Every day after I split with him memories pop up of times he seemed like he could've liked me. During Covid we talked constantly and he'd drop hints. Times we could've been something. But I stayed quiet too scared of rejection messing things up losing a friend to be honest with him. I regret it so much. We could've been real genuine. Instead I bit my tongue and watched him become someone I don't recognize. Even though he was like your average nerd when I first liked him he grew up super charismatic and hot. Lots of prettier women want him and it freaking hurts.
I just don't know if I'll ever get a chance with someone like that again. I know I'm young still got tons of people to meet but that connection and void in your heart is so hard to fill.
Last updated on:2025-05-21T15:58:02+05:30
Comments (8)
The void feels impossible to fill now but one day someone will walk into your life and remind you why things had to happen this way.
Sometimes we love the idea of someone more than who they actually are. Maybe that’s part of what hurts most.
It’s painful watching someone become everything you wanted just for someone else but that doesn’t mean you won’t find your own happiness.
First loves hit differently but trust me the connection you’re looking for will come in a way that actually lasts.
He changed and maybe that’s the hardest part watching someone you cared for become someone unrecognizable.
You didn’t mess up fear and timing got in the way but that doesn’t mean your chance at love is over.
It’s tough to hold onto what ifs but you deserve a love that’s real not just something that could’ve been.
Hey if it helps.. this literally just happened to me too. Being young has nothing to do with it. It's just life unfortunately. So it's happening now but might happen again. Sry this wasn't much help at all.