I hope it's okay I'm using this as a kind of journal for bad memories that are coming back to me. today is extremely trying, my ex snored and I asked most nights if he would mind trying to sleep on his side, he said that his job is very physically demanding in comparison to mine, I work with children and in a dental nurse he worked in construction. he said that if I can't sleep with his snoring that I should just stay awake he needed his sleep more. I said I can function in life without sleep can we compromise here please, he said no that I was being ridiculous and I should have got used to the fact he snores by now. I said so you're saying it doesnt matter if I don't sleep, this is crazy and he said he needs his sleep. I was trying to function in a toxic relationship with no sleep, affection, love instead I got gaslighting lies and manipulation, how did I do that for three and a half years.
Last updated on:2025-05-28T12:49:26+05:30
Comments (9)
The way he treated you wasn’t just selfish it was dismissive invalidating and emotionally destructive. You didn’t deserve it then and you definitely don’t deserve to carry it with you now. Let yourself heal.
You were exhausted in every way mentally emotionally physically. And he made sure of that. The fact that you’re unpacking these memories now means healing is happening. Keep going.
I tried to rationalize their behavior to make excuses for their lack of effort. But love isn’t supposed to feel like you’re begging for the bare minimum. You deserve more.
Toxic relationships slowly wear you down making you believe that your needs don’t matter. But they do. You matter. And what you're feeling now the shock of remembering everything is proof that you’re finally waking up to the truth.
love shouldn’t require survival. And one day you’ll look back and wonder how you stayed as long as you did.
Gaslighting makes you question reality makes you believe that you’re the unreasonable one. But you’re not. You were trying to function in a toxic cycle and now you’re finally breaking free from it.
Being sleep deprived and emotionally neglected is a special kind of torture. You deserve to be with someone who listens who cares who wants to make your life better not someone who makes excuses for hurting you.
Hey it's totally ok to share your feelings over here.Thats what we all are here for to support each other. I am so sorry to hear that you went through tough time for so long .Hope And wish it gets better and better for you .Here onwards.Best wishes
i think we wake up to the truth one fine day and cant just unsee it anymore and it always takes time before we see the truth before that we are blinded by our affection for the person