I was in an abusive relationship before years ago both mentally and physically and it was very obvious what it was. my last relationship though, I didn't notice anything until the very end, now I recognise everything and how bad it was but how did I not see it. he was nice sometimes to me, talked about our future but then he wasn't at all. it was physical abuse, he didn't call me names but I still didn't see everything until the very end. I can't get my head around it. he played down everything. made out he was a good person and I was being dramatic or asking for too much. was he even aware of what he was doing. it's very confusing to me still. nobody else saw him in the circumstances I did. he was affectionate in front of his family and children but not when we were on our own. he told me I was asking for too much when I asked for the basics in a relationship as if I was asking for a kidney. why did he keep me around. he would try make me jealous by making it blatantly obvious trying to catch other women's attention to the point women would look at me as in why is he doing that and when I said it to him it's really embarrassing me you're letting me down he said well guys stare at you all the time it's the same thing. I never behaved like that. he could justify everything and he did like it was my fault. he flipped a table over in anger one night and said I made him do it with the conversation we were having.
Last updated on:2025-05-28T13:22:23+05:30
Comments (8)
I used to believe the good moments were proof that maybe they did love me. But real love doesn’t come with conditions manipulation or cruelty. You are worthy of something real.
Emotional abuse isn’t always obvious and that’s what makes it so damaging. The fact that you didn’t see it before doesn’t mean you were blind it means you trusted someone who didn’t deserve it.
He justified everything twisted every situation made you feel responsible for his actions. But someone who truly cares about you doesn’t blame you for their behavior. You didn’t deserve any of it.
His mind games were designed to wear you down to make you question yourself. But the fact that you see it now means you are freeing yourself from it. Keep moving forward.
The worst part of emotional abuse is the way it makes you doubt yourself. He made you believe it was normal that you were the problem. But you were never the problem he was. And now you get to reclaim your peace.
I know exactly how confusing it feels wondering how you missed the signs questioning whether they even realized what they were doing. But the truth is someone who truly loves you doesn’t make you question your reality. You weren’t asking for too much. You were asking for basic respect.
hi I went through the same cycle kind moments mixed with manipulation affection in public but neglect behind closed doors. It wasn’t love it was control. And seeing it now? That’s the first step toward true freedom.
Hey seems like you have been through a lot of abusive behaviour, I wish all the power to you.Hope you are healing and on the same path enjoying your journey of healing. It seems like you have been through a lot.Take care of yourself.