I broke up with my ex like 3 years ago when I was in highschool we dated for 7 months. Back then she was everything to me literally just her smile made me hyped.
This was 3 years ago btw not now. But she felt kinda immature she mentioned some childhood trauma and her last relationship 6 months before us hurt her a lot. He apparently had old pics of her on his snap. When I found out she unblocked him to talk about that it hurt me a lot not cause of her privacy but cause she didn't even tell me.
My main issue with her was she was avoidant didn't like talking about problems but sometimes she would. I'd text long messages and she'd barely reply. Kinda my fault for giving too much I guess expecting stuff back. But I hated how cold she was when we argued.
One thing that really got me and made me lose feelings was when she said if you don't like how I am then just leave. She's right but it stung cause I wanted her not someone better.
Eventually she just got more distant. I tried to forgive her for hiding stuff with her ex and being cold but she stopped replying at all. Yeah my long texts probably suffocated her too my bad.
The only reason I never tried to hit her up after was cause 5 months after we broke up I saw she followed her ex on insta liked his pics then deleted her account like she never interacted with him like that.
She always said she wanted revenge on him for hurting her and making jokes about her trauma.
So should I message her 3 years later just a simple Hey how have you been? I know we won't get back together it hurt too much. But I'm genuinely curious if she's matured like I have. If she has I'd love to hear her side of things from back then to help me be better at loving someone next time. It was both our faults but maybe more hers.
Last updated on:2025-05-29T09:02:41+05:30
Comments (10)
Hey you gave your best effort and you were always present for her and that's what matters the most.But reopening the old chapters might take you to past where you don't belong anymore.Texting her may only get you where you got hurt.If peace is more important then let go of this mental curiosity
You’ve grown and that’s beautiful. But reaching out to her won’t prove your maturity it’ll just pull you back into something that was meant to stay in the past. Keep moving forward.👍
A simple Hey can lead to overanalyzing her response waiting for replies reopening past emotions. Are you ready for that? Or is peace more important now?
I wanted answers too but sometimes people don’t even understand their own mistakes. If you’re hoping she’ll give a deep insightful reflection you might just be disappointed.
If she had truly matured wouldn’t she have reached out herself? Growth isn’t just about change it’s about accountability. And if she never gave that she probably never will.
Three years later and you’re still thinking about how she hurt you. That alone says something. Maybe it’s time to stop analyzing and start moving forward.
She was cold distant and avoidant back then. If she hasn’t reached out in three years chances are she’s still the same. Some answers are better left unknown.
I get the curiosity the hope that maybe time has changed things. But ask yourself do you truly need her perspective or are you hoping for closure she might never give?
Give it a try
Im chill now yeah I wanted more but I know this is it. Happy with a simple answer to my questions even with no explanation and her ghosting me. My efforts probably got through to her like life moves on past people ain't worth it keep going.