so yeah we met. idk what i was expecting tbh

so yeah we met. idk what i was expecting tbh. part of me wanted him to show up all changed and emotional and say he still loved me. he didn’t. it was weird. familiar. his face, his voice, the way he laughs at dumb shit, it hit me hard. but also he was kinda… blank? like emotionally muted. kept things surface. said he missed me but in a hope you’re good kind of way, not in a lets fix this way
afterwards i felt worse lol. like i opened a door that didn’t even lead anywhere. it messed me up again for like a week. all those feelings came back but he wasn’t really there. maybe never was. maybe i was just in love with who i thought he could be and i get it now. me seeing him on hinge triggered all my old wounds. not cause he’s the one, but cause i’m still hurting and seeing him move on made me feel like i was losing something. even if i didn’t actually want him.so yeah. back to no contact again. not out of anger, just peace. i think i needed that last coffee to fully get it. he’s not my person. he was a lesson. an ache. and maybe a little bit of a joke. anyway. healing is not linear blah blah but i’m slowly climbing out again. no more backslides. i hope????

Last updated on:2025-06-02T06:48:56+05:30