I am 39 I had to breakup after 3 years beacause I was accumulating stress, I felt the relationship had on my side some base stress, she was great but very defensive and I did not feel heard. In the end it brought me down with unbearable crippling anxiety - I did not have mental health issues in 10 years and was happy by myself, just lonely. I feel now enormous guilt as she is a good person, and pain because even though I grew I thought we could have more projects together but it feels like I am too sensitive or she is too harsh and on the long run, despite our efforts, I felt it was not sustainable.
Last updated on:2025-06-10T19:53:32+05:30
Comments (12)
Thanks for your kind word !!Still loke 12 "nc" but we still live in the same appartment, that is horrible experience even though I had few days by myself, as constantly being reminded of what I did. Still like some parts of her, which made me feel even worse. I felt into depression 6 months ago because I couldn't sustain the rhythm and thr contempt and control. I am still very tited because sleeping in the couch. Any advice ?
You did what was right for both of you even if she doesn’t see it that way. One day this heartbreak will fade and you’ll realize that letting go was the frst step toward the peace you needed all along.
The end of something meaningful will always hurt. But pain from growth is different than pain from staying stuck. You’re growing, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.
Guilt is painful but staying in something that was wearing you down would have been worse. You didn’t leave because you didn’t care you left because love shouldn’t have to hurt.
I know what it’s like to second guess leaving, wondering if I was too sensitive if I should have tried harder. But the truth is being in a relationship shouldn’t feel like fighting to be heard. It should feel like home.
Oh yeah I felt exactly lile that !!!
hoping love would be enough to outweigh the emotional exhaustion. But love should never come at the cost of your mental health. You deserve a partnership that brings peace not anxiety.
Walking away from someone who was good in many ways but not good for you is one of the hardest things. I had to learn that choosing myself wasn’t abandoning them it was acknowledging that love alone isn’t enough.
Leaving a relationship that wasn’t working isn’t a failure it’s growth. You recognized what wasn’t sustainable and you chose to protect your well-being. That takes courage.
knowing they were a good person but realizing the relationship wasn’t sustainable. It’s okay to grieve that but remind yourself that leaving wasn’t an act of cruelty. It was choosing your peace.
guilt is a waste of time as it earns us nothing and secondly you have noothing to be guilty about because what you are doing is equal to peace for you. you cant make your partner happy if you are not happy yourself so maybe you did the tough thing for both of you and you should be proud of yourself for that. not guilty.all the best.
sometimes we just invest time into relationships and they dont work out, maybe they are not meant to be. one of the things that threw me totally off was me reading his email accidently to his bestie saying about his rekationshio with me, i dont think we are meant to be. this was after just after the break up. that hurt more than anything but when i look back i think he was reight although the rejection hurts but i feel now that if he moved on cos of feeling incomptabile it is ok i guess. i dont know..so it is going to be ok. give urself a chance.