Seven years ago I met my girlfriend online. We instantly bonded over our tough childhood traumas and even though she lived about 400 miles away my first visit after half a year of talkin was pure bliss. I'd never connected with anyone on that deep a level before. About two years later she suggested I move in permanently which was a huge leap forcing me to disconnect from my friends and what litle family I had but I made the jump to pull myself out of a depressive rut. The next five years were genuinely some of the happiest of my life even my family and friends back south noticed I semed happier more alive and more energetic than they'd ever seen me. I felt a peace and confidence in myself and the world I didn't even know was possible she truly lit up my life in a way many can relate to.
However about six month ago I started a new soul sucking retail job that I hated from day one with its sterile environment and long stretches of idleness. It took a serious toll and I began to slide back into a depressive episode. Our first fight in seven years happened about two months ago because I desperately wanted to quit and things just kept getting worse. Now she's told me she wants me to move out in the next few months becase I've become difficult to be around. I'm completely devastated because whenevr she fell into a rut I was always there to lift her out time and time again never giving up on her.
Now the roles are reversed and I feel utterly betrayed and lost. I had no idea things were so dire from her perspective less than a year ago we told each other everything but now we barely communicate and this has blindsided me completely. I'm stuck 400 miles away from home likely returning to the same pit of loneliness I was in before but now I'm older with much fewer prospects. I don't know what to do I can't even fully process how quickly everything spirald out of control and I just feel utterly destroyed.
Last updated on:2025-06-23T21:26:02+05:30
Comments (7)
This hits hard. You’ve been through so much together and it’s painful when the communication breaks down.
Bro this is a whole heartbreak vibe. You gave her your best and it’s okay to feel destroyed right now.
This is deep af. You’ve been her rock and it’s brutal when she can’t be yours. Take it one day at a time you’ll get through this.
I would leave for the weekend and think about it
This is heavy. You’ve been through so much it’s okay to feel lost. Just don’t forget you’ve got the strength to rebuild.
Totally get it OP. And it sucks the heartbreak is next level. I helped my ex through so much then when I was down and struggling he just dipped. Had to pick up the pieces of my own life too. What you're dealing with is awful I'm so sorry. Got access to therapy or anything? Journalling can be super helpful. Is your partner even willing to work on things if you get some help?
Lowkey this sounds like betrayal vibes but don’t let it define you. You’ve got so much life ahead even if it doesn’t feel like it rn.